"The Ensigns Of Command"

Part 1:

Darkness came without a hint of the days remains. Hours passed endlessly, one after another each one seemingly quicker than the last. Dawn came, and with it light. It lasted shorter than the night, and so the motion picture of the heavens continued to play out before us.

Us.

What Us? There was me, of that I was certain. Every few days (or nights perhaps) I had to determine whether or not I was still there. My certainty waned with the time which I was no longer certain was passing whatsoever. I had witnessed (or had I not, I am no longer sure) days and nights pass one after another for countless days, hours, minutes, weeks, millennia...

I was no longer aware of the existence of “us”. Were you a memory? Were you a phantom which passed before my eyes long ago? Were we naught but the deranged delusions of a daft mind?

Darkness, light, darkness, light. How the maddening procession continued on so...

Us? And them? Honey, I can barely confirm that which is “me“, and I do not know how to even begin to remember that which may or may not have been “you”. “Them” is not even in my vocabulary at the current time. Day, night, darkness, light, time might have taken an epoch or two off for retooling.

Voices.

Images.

Clutter. my. mind. Clutter: too much filth in too little space. My: that which is of me. Mind: Area of entity wherein lies idea making apparatus.

After several googolplexes of insanity you return to me. I can no longer recall any memory of your departure or mark your arrival, and yet I will always bear the scars of the absence.

But as time is timeless, that is yet to happen, as it has already occurred. In the meantime I wait. In the meantime the skies continue to change.

"Evolution"

just a random picture from last years Robert Plant Concert I went to with Wyatt.

"Smoke Yourself Thin"

The Sabres are slipping, but hey...they are in the playoffs one way or another. And then, it is a totally different situation. I still believe they can beat anyone (maybe not Ottawa) in a best of 7 series.

"Get Confident, Stupid!"

May 5th the Earthquakers are playing The Grandview in Ellington. I will be there.

You really should come out for it.

"Out With Gout '88"

Wreslemania 22 is this Sunday. I remember a time when I really gave a damn. I had so much fun at wrestling parties. Every PPV for years on end we had one. Back in high school it was ME, Haji, Billy G, Big Kraig, Chrispies, Dudgeon, Nips, Paul, Rudy, Eli, Shaft, etc...

In College that continued with additions of Annie (mom) Double J (Jake and Jay), a bunch of people I never really got to know, etc...

Good times those. Just another amongst the million and 1 things I miss from my past.

I think that is why I stopped watching wrestling on tv. More so than the fact that Vinny Mac just puts out a horrible product (he did it for at least 5 years in the ’90s and I still watched). I have no one to watch obsessively with anymore. Oh well. I am sure people would say I am better off for it.

~Oz

"Let's Save Tony Orlando's House"

Are you satisfied with your station in life?

Is it alright to accept the norm?

Shouldn’t we perhaps question what we see around us on a daily basis maybe a little more than we do?

How radical is it to be so?

Is society on a whole something worthwhile?

Would Iranians burn our flag if Ronald Reagan were President?

If we are just going to die, then what really was the point of all the fretting?

“ ” then why didn’t we make choices in life of a bolder nature?

If it will happen one way or another, then ultimately, why try?

If you are reading too much into this, does that mean that you are over-analytical?

Or perhaps that I am a wee bit too vague?

Or am I too obvious?

Why do I like to march to the beat of my own drum?

Am I less stressed out than others, or more so, or even both at the same time given the situation?

Are The Beatles really the best band ever?

And why are The Rolling Stones the ONLY band that most people consider as a runner up?

Dexy’s Midnight Runners could still surprise you

~Oz

"The Half-Assed Guide to Foundation Repair"

Well, I am trying to get tickets to see Pearl Jam, looks like I will be forced to go to the Cleveland show instead of the Toronto opener. Oh well. Sucks, but at least I will still get to see them.

As for Dave, I will probably be going to the Hershey Park show as OAR is opening for him there.

~Oz

"Mothballing Your Battleship"

I won poker at Joys, and came in 2nd at Travis’s place on Monday and Saturday respectively.

I purchased Volume 3 of Family Guy, Season 4 of Frasier, Ben Harper and The Blind Boys Of Alabama - Live At The Apollo.

"Dig Your Own Grave and Save"

Well, I am on myspace.com now. Go find me. It isn’t terribly complicated.

"Locker Room Towel Fights : The Blinding of Larry Driscoll"

www.wolfgangsvault.com

Check it out.

Wyatt, Haji...I am talking to you two in specific.

~OZ

"Phony Tornado Alerts Reduce Readiness"

I just finished “The Da Vinci Code”.

Minga did ever like it. Many people told me they prefer “Angels And Demons” (Dan Browns other “Robert Langdon” book) over the best seller. I have to say, either one is fine by me. They are separate entities unto themselves, and cannot be compared in my mind. “Da Vinci” dealt with the Grail Quest. “Angels” dealt with stopping the Illuminati from destroying the Vatican with a Anti-matter time bomb.

One is saving the church, the other is (however innocuously) working against it.

The thing I really did like about the book (Da Vinci Code) is that by the end I felt true pity for the villains of the novel (Silas the Albino Monk, and Bishop Aringrosa, head of Opus Dei). I will not say why so as not to spoil the story for future readers. And I cannot wait to see Sir Magneto The Gray Wizard play Teabing in the movie.

Out

~Oz

"Designated Drivers: The Lifesaving Nerds"

Okay, I have a favor to ask of you, and by proxy anyone you may know in the Chautauqua County area wishing to help me out. FYE is running a contest for its employees. When I say FYE, I mean my store alone. The top three people who get the most Backstage passes, and Mail Promo sign ups win a special prize.

1st off: Backstage pass: Pay $25.00 Get 10% off everything (except video game hardware - game systems themselves). Get 20% off on your birthday.

Mail promo: For customers who use their credit card, you can sign up for those dumb free magazine things. How it works? Get 3 free mages for 3 months. Then cancel or continue the subscription. Easy as that. Maxim and FHM (sp?) are both included, so guys...you get to see partial nudity aka side boobs.

So, why should you be cool and do this for me?

The prize is to go for free to Ozzfest. We will set a booth up where we will sell the bands’ merchandise while the B-Stage performers are up. Once the main attractions take up on the main stage, we have full access. Free tickets in the front row, and backstage passes. Were talking photo-ops, autograph signings, the works.

So please; help me out. It just sounds like something fun to do for a day, even if I am not all about death metal. I still like Ozzy, and I am really digging Disturbed. The whole scene is very Anti-Right (Bush).

~Oz

"Firecrackers: The Silent Killer"

It seems like not a whole lot is happening in my life right now. I have a very anxious feeling towards life in general. School cannot start soon enough for me now. I truly see most of what I am doing between now and then as unimportant. Even though I enjoy working at FYE, it is still working in the mall for minimum wage at part time.

I really miss my friends right now. I have seen Shawn about 3 times since the new year. I see Erik really only on Poker nights. Doc and Beth I have hung out with twice since they started dating late last year. Haji is down in Cincinnati with Elisha. Haven’t seen either of them since when I was still at Sears last June. Wyatt has been down in D.C. since January and won’t be back for another 5-6 weeks. Mark I see once and a while when he comes into FYE to shop. Crystal moved back to Louisiana last August. Joy and Ben I see at Poker night only. Me and Kevin haven’t spoken since Thanksgiving, and that pains me. I was angry at him originally for his misplaced anger towards me, and now I miss his friendship. I see Travis and Kristen the most, and I am happy for their companionship. But that is still only on nights when a new “Lost” is on, or on poker night.

I know my prediction would be improved if I had more money to go out and party with. Then I could at least see Erik, Shawn, and possibly Doc and Beth more.

I cannot even say it is because I am getting older and not having the time. I do not know what it is. I feel like I have become a recluse against my own will. And when I do hang out with others, I feel like my dialogue is outdated, mundane.

Sorry for this depressing column. I will be back soon with a more uplifting one I am sure.

~Oz

"Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun"

In other news over the past week:

Go Sabers. 7 wins in a row. Damn. Only trail Ottawa for the division by 1 game. Trail Carolina for the Conference/League lead by 2 games.

I am loving the World Baseball classic. I am rooting for Cuba and the Dominican Republic.

The butcher of the Balkans died.

I ate at Smokey Bones on Saturday. Best Ribs Ever.

Tried to eat at the Red River Roadhouse on Sunday. They were closed, possibly for good.

Got trashed Saturday while winning poker.

Had damn good fish fry at Seizure House Friday night.

And I bought NHL 2005 for XBOX on Sunday.

Culpepper went to the Dolphins. Brees went to the Saints.

The Bills are still the Bills, but they are the best (by best I mean only) that we got.

Worked some more at FYE.

Went to Mileys Friday night with Shawn. Saw Kevin Dudgeon there. Had some good wings. Ah, Mileys! Haven’t been there since Mid December.

~Oz

"Meat And You: Partners in Freedom"

Monday night we played poker at Joys. 11 people played this time. Table one was Travis, JP, Ben, Kyle, Pat and Matt. Table 2 was me, Joy, Ty, Erik and Adam. Same deal, 2 ppl out from each table and combine. Table one lost Travis and Matt. Table 2 lost Joy and Erik.

At the combine were Me, Adam, Ty, Kyle, JP, Pat, and Ben. Pat was by far the chipleader/favorite to win the tournament. JP was eliminated on the 1st hand of the combined table. Tye (who was the chipleader from table 2) was the next one to go down , thus increasing Pats staggering chip lead. I went out at the 5 spot, giving my remaining 18 dollars of chips to Pat as well. I left at that point. Pat won of course, but I hear that Kyle came back and actually gained chip lead over Pat at one point. Oh well, I can’t win them all (or 2 in a row anymore).

~Oz

"Pepsi Presents Fractions"

Well, Saturday night we had a poker tournament at my house. 10 people played. On table one we had my father, my cousin John, J.P., Ben, and Alex Leone. On table two was myself, Pete Larson (Erik’s younger brother), John Andrews, Erik, and Joy. 5 dollar buy in. Winner takes 45, 2nd gets money back. We combined the tables after 2 people from each table were eliminated. The 2 from table 1 were John (cousin) and my dad. From my table, Joy and Doc were the 1st 2 out.

So the final table was me, Ben, Alex, Pete, Erik, and JP. The Larson brothers were the 1st two out.

Then came the hand to change the game. JP was chip leader, with me in it still for 2nd. Ben and Alex had small but respectable chunks of chips. On the board was and 3, 4, and 5 of diamonds. Ben had a Queen and maybe a 9 or 8 of diamonds, so he flopped the flush. Me and JP both called when Ben went all in. Then a non consequential card came up on the turn. Me and JP just checked. On the river, an Ace of diamonds had come up. Now, realize, I had the 2 of diamonds. I had the straight flush. I went all in, all my remaining 18 dollars. I was amazed. JP called the money, and proudly turned over his King of Diamonds. Ben turned over his Queen high flush and swore. JP was starting to smile when...I revealed my 2 for the straight flush. Needless to say I won the game with JP coming in 2nd.

It was the best game of poker I have played since November, hell maybe even since my 6 game win streak last August.

Of the 50 dollar pot JP took 5. I gave Alex 5 as well, because he and JP both went out on the same hand at the end of the game with about the same chip amount. So 40 bucks was mine. Until my dad reminded me of the 10 bucks he lent me last month for Travis’ tournament. So I took only 30 bucks for my efforts, but I was still happy about it.

~Oz

"The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot"

Ok. I spent almost 2 hours putting picture on the site. Go look. Waste time.

And sorry again about that short review of "Goldfinger".

Wait, I am not sorry. What am I talking about.

Okay.

I will be back sometime with real stuff to talk about.

~Oz

"Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass"

Not to leave Haji out here is a pic of him (Beth in background) from last years party. Haji was head of the gestapo for five years. No, Haji was head of gestapo for 2 years...wait, Haji was never head of gestapo at all!

"60 Minutes of Car Crash Victims"

Oh wait, here is my one true love. What was I thinking...

"Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly

Shawn is now at maximum enjoyment levels. And he is drawing Erik into his web of slumber

"Here Comes The Metric System"

Me and my one true love. Beer.

"Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What"

Kristen, hiding as usual. And a plate with a spoon.

"The World Without Zinc"

Well here we go again. Erik and Shawn at the party.

"Christmas Ape Goes To Summer Camp"

Well, I cannot upload any more pics right now because the site is timing out on me. Thats right. I posted a # of pics below. Go check them out. More will follow.

~Oz

"Five Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show"

John and Beth at the party.

"Alien Nose Jobs"

Erika and Rich being all unsociable and stuff during the party.

"Handel With Kare"

Superbowl 40 party. Mary Kate is helping me make the food before hand.

"Buck Henderson, Union Buster"

My cousins, Bonnie and Kelly with Bonnies daughter Emma. Emma has just finished decorating the mini Christmas Tree so the family can celebrate Suga Dau Kinut. That is not how it is spelled. I do not know if any of my family knows the correct spelling. It is sounded out thusly: Shoulg (ou sound in should)- A - Dawe - Kin - oot (as in soot). If I can ever get some video tape of it (digital) then I will upload it to the sight and you can view what we do for yourselves. Dancing round the mini tree is all I will say, though if I said more it might clear some of the misconceptions of this little known (round these parts, which is surprising, given Jamestowns large Swedish community) Swedish holiday.

"Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory"

Mary Kate presenting her world famous green bean casourel(sp?) on Christmas day. This just might be my favorite dish to consume. She always is worried though that I might not like it. And she is always wrong as I love it every time.

"Suddenly Last Supper"

Mary Kate and her old co-workers from the Gables Day Spa at her bosses wedding. Bou did I get drunk and make an ass out of myself that night...

"David vs. Super-Goliath"

A rare picture of Crystal with an annoyed Ben and irritated Joy. Ben doesn't understand why 5 bucks only gets him a flash of Joys stomache. He demands more bang for his buck.

"The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel"

Paul (nice hat), Ben and Joy before the poker game.

"The Electric Gigolo"

Here is Travis and Kristen from last summer during a poker game at my apartment

"Make-Out King of Montana"

“My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!”

In 1964, “Goldfinger” was released, and it became the most popular James Bond film ever. Most people would list this at #1 in their countdowns, but alas....I am not everybody.

This film has Bond chasing down Auric Goldfinger (Gert FrÖbe), an immensely wealthy man who still needs to cheat men at cards for high stakes. One of my favorite Bond moments comes when the two are playing a round of golf. Goldfingers servant Odd Job (Harold Sakata) is a squat Asian assassin who kills both by painting girls in gold paint, and by throwing his bowler hat, now complete with assassin blade™ at ones neck.

Bond chases Goldfiner across Europe and America. Aiding Bond are the Masterson sisters, Jill and Tilly. Unfortunately for them, and the viewer, they are both killed. Felix Leiter makes his 2nd appearance, this time being played by Cec Linder. Another famous scene is when Bond is on the operation table while a laser beam is slowly inching itself towards his nether regions.

The movie is famous. If you haven’t seen it, then I will not ruin this one for you here. Go rent it, or purchase it at FYE. If you have seen it already, you do not need to hear me go on and on about it. I promise the next movie in the countdown, will be completely analyzed by myself.

But first let us not forget the most famous Bond girl name of all, Miss Pussy Galore, played by Honor Blackman.

[a laser is about to cut Bond in half]

James Bond: I think you made your point. Thank you for the demonstration.

Goldfinger: Choose your next witticism carefully Mr. Bond, it may be your last.

~Oz

"Leper in the Backfield"

Well, I watched “The Magnificent Seven” last night. I really enjoyed it. Now I will have to rent “The Seven Samurai”.

I came in 2nd last night at poker again. That’s the third time in a row. I’ve got my game back, but just can’t seem to put the game away. I get a little tired though of Bens comments/complaints of the way I like to play. I play stupid according to him. I stay in when I shouldn’t (even though I usually beat him when I should’ve folded)...

I bought “Goblet of Fire” today, as well as “Lady and the Tramp”, the complete Star Wars Trilogy Sound Track, “Broadway: The American Musical” - a five disc set of a century of Broadway hits, and a 4 disc Andrew Lloyd Webber collection.

Later G

~Oz

"The Verdict Was Mail Fraud"

Well I worked four days in a row at FYE and I love it. I work tuesday and thursday this week as well. I get paid every weekly, and I am actually catching on quicker than at any other job I have worked at.

That being said, here is the music I have been turned on to since working there

Kraftwerk, and Matisyahu. I love both sounds and styles.

Tomorrow “Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire” is released, as well as David Gilmours new album. I am going to be picking up both of them.

I watched “Meet The Fockers” last night. I did not think I would enjoy it, having hated “Meet The Parents”. I actually couldn’t stop laughing though. Everyone was spot in in this film. Tonight I will be watching either “The Magnificent Seven”, or “The Brothers Grimm”.

Well, I haven’t much more to say today. I really haven’t done much but work since last thursday. And that 007 column is coming. Honest.

~Oz

"Give My Remains to Broadway"

The Principal site of the moment plug goes to none other than www.snpp.com

This site contains more info on “The Simpsons” than any Other.

Arms against Bush: It looks like that the troops over in Iraq are not in the mood to continue messin’ with the Iraqis. A poll of troops in Iraq was proof that they see their usefulness over there is waning. W’s misuse of the troops is in my opinion, wreckless.

Love

I went to Erie Monday with Mary Kate to join Travis and Kristen at Damons for dinner. We also saw “Goblet of Fire” at the dollar theater. We were out there for Kristens 25th birthday. I realized at dinner that I can no longer eat meat only cooked to medium, nor drink mass quantities of alcohol with dinner. I am thru’ with the two.

Step out

The Amazing Race began last night and the teams actually left the United States in the first episode. This isn’t to be marveled at but for the fact they only left the US for two episode last season. The gay guys were eliminated first as they had a problem with being horizontal. Departure time for the winning team (the frat guys) next week will be 3:46 am. Most teams discovered that it is less stranger here than over there however, as San Paulo is more congested than NYC. The 10,000 dollar prize to each of the two guys who made it to the finish line was quite big.

Log out time

I am leaving. Now. Goodbye

~Oz

"Meet Joe Blow"

I have realized that I have not let myself do enough lately. I am too timid. I plan to rectify that this summer. I plan on attending if possible 3 DMB concerts.

Friday June 23rd at Hershey PA with O.A.R.

Wed June 14th at Darien Lake with Matisyahu

Sat June 10th at Star Lake Amphitheater Burgettstown PA with G. Love and The Special Sauce

Also I am purchasing (along with 5 other people or so) 6 packs at $60 a pack to see the Indians play

April 27th - Red Sox

June 1st - White Sox

June 21st - Cubs

July 6th - Yankees

August 8th - Angels

September 16th - Twins

And boy, you better believe that I am going to some Sabers playoff game this year.

~Oz