"Firecrackers: The Silent Killer"

It seems like not a whole lot is happening in my life right now. I have a very anxious feeling towards life in general. School cannot start soon enough for me now. I truly see most of what I am doing between now and then as unimportant. Even though I enjoy working at FYE, it is still working in the mall for minimum wage at part time.

I really miss my friends right now. I have seen Shawn about 3 times since the new year. I see Erik really only on Poker nights. Doc and Beth I have hung out with twice since they started dating late last year. Haji is down in Cincinnati with Elisha. Haven’t seen either of them since when I was still at Sears last June. Wyatt has been down in D.C. since January and won’t be back for another 5-6 weeks. Mark I see once and a while when he comes into FYE to shop. Crystal moved back to Louisiana last August. Joy and Ben I see at Poker night only. Me and Kevin haven’t spoken since Thanksgiving, and that pains me. I was angry at him originally for his misplaced anger towards me, and now I miss his friendship. I see Travis and Kristen the most, and I am happy for their companionship. But that is still only on nights when a new “Lost” is on, or on poker night.

I know my prediction would be improved if I had more money to go out and party with. Then I could at least see Erik, Shawn, and possibly Doc and Beth more.

I cannot even say it is because I am getting older and not having the time. I do not know what it is. I feel like I have become a recluse against my own will. And when I do hang out with others, I feel like my dialogue is outdated, mundane.

Sorry for this depressing column. I will be back soon with a more uplifting one I am sure.

~Oz