"The Siege"

Well the first thing I remember of 2008 was the need to sleep. So I slept. For a while.

I awoke the next morning to a hideous surprise.

Actually it was a round 4:00 am. Some douche fairy decided it would be funny to take off a drunk guys pants (who he doesn’t even know). I woke up during this dumb act and panicked. I forgot where I was, who I was with, everything. I went into fight or flight mode. I evoked the RAGE©, jumped out of my bed and beat the shit out of this dumb bastard. Found out later that he is a Marine. I bum rushed him into the wall, and slammed his head up against it over and over again. Then I dragged him to the floor, slowly chocking the life out of him. It took nearly everyone in the room to drag me off of him and prevent me from committing a murder most foul. Turns out I broke his front teeth, and left him nice and bloody.

So he goes and calls the cops on me. People are telling me to bail, but I was all like no that would only implicate my guilt. I felt totally justified in my actions. And know what? So did the cops. They told him that if he wants to file an assault charge that I can file a Sexual Harassment charge on him and he would be a registered sex offender. It was sweet. The cops were 100% on my side.

He dropped it then, apologized to me and left the premises.

After that what’s happened?

The Winter Classic-the outdoor NHL game between the Sabers and Penguins. Sure the Sabers lost. Sure there was more time spent doctoring the ice than actual hockey, but damn was it fun.

Enrolled yesterday to J.C.C. I’m pursuing a career in Education, and to get my degree I have to start it somewhere, so it’ll start there.

I got a job today at Auntie Anne’s Pretzels.

Wait a minute. I’m at J.C.C. and I am working at Auntie Anne’s. Quick, someone check to make sure I didn’t go back in time to 2000.

So all in all, 2008 is shaping up to be a great year for the man known as Tooth Chipper Oz.

Lost season 4 starts in a few weeks as does Survivor: Fans vs.- Fan Favourites.

The WGA just HAS to end soon, right…right???

The Dark Knight, Cloverfield, Star Trek, 007, Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, and that’s just the beginning.

Also we are now one year closer to Peter Jacksons Dualogy of “The Hobbit”.

Sports predictions for 2008? The Packers will beat the Jaguars in Superbowl XLII. The Penguins will beat the Red Wings in the Stanley Cup finals. The Celtics will beat the Spurs in the NBA Finals. And the Indians will beat the Cubs in the World Series.

~Oz

"The Circle"

Good bye 2007, and good riddance. What a fucking tumultuous year. The relationship woes, the fights with friends, the joblessness, my FUCKING BACK PROBLEMS!!!! Argh.

I was down to 185 lbs. in January, and by December 31st was back up to 215. I guess I had a lot of fun drunk nights.

Okay, so there was some fun times. I had a ball partying with Paul, Joe, Boots, and the rest. The fun parties at Beth and Johns, the fun parties at Annie’s house. May 27th. I went to a game at Yankees Stadium. You know, the one where A-Rod hit the grand slam to come back against the Indians. Okay, THAT part wasn’t cool, but come on…Yankee Stadium. Damn.

I saw the Sabers play a couple times. They won every time I went. Are you listening Mr. Golisano? Give me free season tickets, and the Cup is yours for the taking.

Trivia. What a year we had at that. Of the half a year we went, I think we only lost like maybe 10 times tops. We ruled. Long live the Red Light District Attorneys. Or the Cunning Linguists, or Circle Clerks. Or whatever one of a hundred team names we came up with. Boba Fettuccini. LOVED that one.

I missed Hajis wedding, and that sucked. Me missing it, not the wedding. Me and 6B are friends again though, and that’s cool.

I’m sure we are all very proud of Wyatt finally getting to see Led Zeppelin. If erection lasts for more than four hours seek medical help immediately. Maybe I’ll get to see Pink Floyd some day…

Ditto for the news that Joy and Ben are going to be welcoming in a little one sometime this August. Ya know, that erection line would work here too…and maybe I’ll get to see Pink Floyd some day.

Poker Night made a glorious return. Thanks to John, Ryan, Travis and yours truly for hosting the event.

Karaoke. Damn am I a exhibitionist or what. I never knew.

Yeah for the Large Double Cheese pizza with Pepperoni, sausage, bacon, onions, and mushrooms from Lenas. Or Tasta Pizza. Or Renaldos. Wherever it’s all good, but none quite as good as Lenas.

Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix. Transformers. Shrek 3. The Bourne Ultimatum. Spiderman 3. National Treasure Book Of Secrets. I Am Legend. Oceans 13. A great year for movies. And I haven’t even seen No Country For Old Men or Shoot Em Up yet…

So 2007, in hindsight you do not seem to be as bad as I thought you to be. You were just a victim of Circumstance.

So New Years Eve. Started it out at Applebees. Then realized it was a little too busy so we went to Ruby Tuesdays. “WE” were Paul Calannio, Joe Andrews, John Cortright, Dave Tracy, Holly “Boots” Leach, and Kate Amatuzzo.

Decent meal at Ruby Tuesdays, although the restaurant was way too dark. Afterwards it was off to the Best Western where we were staying in room 224. I’m sorry that I missed Wyatt as he was in the same exact hotel, but alas off to his parents house for the New Years celebration. We played beer pong, King’s Cup (which I have always known as “Circle Of Death”), and got really plastered. Round 10:30ish we went to the Wine Cellar, then to Mojos and finally to Shawbucks. I have no idea where we were when the New Year was rang in because I was drunk out of my mind at this point.

So how did 2008 begin?

I’ll tell you….right after these messages.

~Oz