Cell Blog D

"The Alternate"

2010-05-03T18:07:00.001-04:00

Budos Band!
Good sound

that is all

seeya in 2 more years

"Rivals"

2008-04-23T23:00:00.000-04:00

So I went 4-4 in my 1st round predictions. Got 3 of the east right and only 1 in the west. Ouch.
Well, now its time to predict the 2nd round.

EASTERN CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS

1. Montreal vs. 6. Philadelphia

Ok, I never thought I would say this but I want to the Flyers to win this series. That being said, Canadians in 6.

2. Pittsburgh vs. 5. New York

I am sticking with the Penguins until the bitter end. The ex-Sabres co-captains playoff hopes both come to an end in the 2nd round. Pens in 5.

WESTERN CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS

1. Detroit vs. 6. Colorado

Wow, feel like I took a time machine to 7 years ago. I picked Detroit originally to go to the Finals, and thus I am sticking with them here. Red Wings in a brutal 7. I think we’ll see the 1st 3 period OT of the postseason thus far in this series too.

2. San Jose vs. 5. Dallas

Dallas looked much stronger in the opening round than did San Jose. Stars in 6.

You need 16 wins to obtain the Stanley Cup.
These teams all have 4 under their belts.
12 more to go.
8 teams
42 days
1 survivor

~Oz

"Sanctuary"

2008-04-17T11:03:00.002-04:00

STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONSHIP FINALS

West 1. Detroit vs. East 2. Pittsburgh

I am sticking to my guns, and feel very confident about them. The Penguins will take this series in 6 games.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2007-2008 Stanley Cup Champions of the world.....the Pittsburgh Penguins!!!!!!

The fact that they used rejected Ryan Miller backup Ty Conklin to get there, leaves a pit in my stomache. At least he wasn't the playoff goalie. Also make me angry when I see Biron getting shutouts and Briere scoring multiple goals per game. DAMN YOU GOLISANO!!!!

~Oz

"Second Sight"

2008-04-17T10:59:00.002-04:00

WESTRERN CONFERANCE FINALS

1. Detroit vs. 4. Anaheim

Never before havde a felt less confident that either team will now make it to this point. Out of the four teams I have making it to the conferance finals, only Pittsburgh seems to be a good choice. Whoda thunk it? A winner must be picked, and that is what I am going to do. Detroit in 5.

that sets up the big dance...

~Oz

"Necessary Evil"

2008-04-17T10:56:00.003-04:00

And moving right alone we go to the...

EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

2. Pittsburgh vs. 4. New Jersey

Pittsburgh is on a mission from God this year. Unless they have suffer a collapse of Buffalonian proportions, they will take out the Devils in 6 games.

you know whats next kids...

~Oz

"Rules Of Acquisition"

2008-04-17T10:46:00.002-04:00

Okay, here are my predictions for the west.

WESTERN CONFERANCE SEMIFINALS

1. Detroit vs. 7. Calgary

As much as I would love to see the Flames take this series, I picked Detroit originally. To prove that I am honest, you need look no further than this. As of now, I would say that given the way the Predators have handled Detroit that even should the Red Wings advance that Calgary will beat them. However, before the series began I picked Detroit, therefore I have to stick with them here. Detroit in 6.

3. Minnesota vs. 4. Anaheim

I would have to go with the Ducks in 7. That being said, this is also a series where I would have changed my pick given the results thusfar of the current series. Anaheim, besides the last game is looking down and out of things at the moment.

So there ya go... a couple days late, but here none the less.

~Oz

"Melora"

2008-04-12T00:01:00.000-04:00

I figured I would give out all of my predictions for the playoffs now, instead of round by round.

I will then update them accordingly (If I have to) at the end of each round.

EASTERN CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS

1. Montreal vs. 4. New Jersey

This will be a tough series, with the Devils taking out the Habs in 7 games.

2. Pittsburgh vs. 3. Washington

Ovenchkin vs. Crosby. Who will be the next great one? They’ll have to go through each other to find out. These teams both have a lot of offense, and I think it will come down to goaltending. You would assume that would favor Washington, but I think the Fleury/Conklin tandem will be too much for the Caps. Penguins in 6.

And that is that. Tomorrow will be the West.

BTW…

Detroit is up 1 game to 0 over Nashville

San Jose and Calgary are tied at 1 a piece

Montreal leads Boston 1-0

Dallas leads Anaheim 1-0

Washington over Philly 1-0

Rangers lead the Devils 2-0

Minnesota and Colorado are tied at 1
And.

Pittsburgh leads Ottawa 2-0.

So far my predictions arent that bad, with the exception of the NY/ NJ series. Of course, if you look at the original post, you will notice that series was the one I had the toughest time predicting.

~Oz

"Cardassians"

2008-04-09T00:36:00.000-04:00

WESTERN CONFERENCE QUARTERFINALS

1. Detroit vs. 8. Nashville

With all respect to Dumont, the Red Wings are going to get out the brooms and sweep the Predators

2. San Jose vs. 7. Calgary

The smarts are picking the Sharks to win the whole shebang, but I disagree. Of course. Flames in 6

3. Minnesota vs. 6. Colorado

If this were 5 years ago I’d say Avalanche in a heartbeat, but it aint so Wild it is in 5

4. Anaheim vs. 5. Dallas

See above for why I am picking the Ducks in 5 over those rotten bastards who stole the cup from Buffalo in 99

See ya in a few weeks with my Conference Semifinal Prognostications

~Oz

"Invasive Procedures"

2008-04-06T23:57:00.000-04:00

Short and sweet

NHL Playoff predictions

I stated back in January that I thought it would be Pittsburgh over Detroit in the Finals. Lets see if that stays the same here.

EAST CONFERENANCE QUARTERFINALS

1. Montreal vs. 8. Boston

Boston lost all 8 regular season match ups against the Habs. Don’t see anything changing here. Canadians in 5

2. Pittsburgh vs. 7. Ottawa

Ottawa started out 15-2. They had the worst league in the Northeast division after that and barely made the playoffs. The Penguins wont sweep, but El Sid and company will rout the Sens in 5.

3. Washington vs. 6. Philadelphia

The Flyers sort of limped into the playoffs, whereas the Caps surged in. I have visited each city, and liked Philly much more than Washington, but I just cant go for them…even if they have Briere and Biron, and I WOULD very much like to see those two win a cup. Be that as it may, Caps in 6.

4. New Jersey vs. 5. New York

See statement above for Drury. I dislike the Rangers more than the Flyers, therefore I will be all for the Devils in this one, and rightly so. Brodeur is the best playoff goaltender around. This could go to 7, but I am guessing 6 games at most, with probably a Devils victory in 5.

The West will be tomorrow.

Oz

"The Siege"

2008-01-03T23:02:00.000-05:00

Well the first thing I remember of 2008 was the need to sleep. So I slept. For a while.

I awoke the next morning to a hideous surprise.

Actually it was a round 4:00 am. Some douche fairy decided it would be funny to take off a drunk guys pants (who he doesn’t even know). I woke up during this dumb act and panicked. I forgot where I was, who I was with, everything. I went into fight or flight mode. I evoked the RAGE©, jumped out of my bed and beat the shit out of this dumb bastard. Found out later that he is a Marine. I bum rushed him into the wall, and slammed his head up against it over and over again. Then I dragged him to the floor, slowly chocking the life out of him. It took nearly everyone in the room to drag me off of him and prevent me from committing a murder most foul. Turns out I broke his front teeth, and left him nice and bloody.

So he goes and calls the cops on me. People are telling me to bail, but I was all like no that would only implicate my guilt. I felt totally justified in my actions. And know what? So did the cops. They told him that if he wants to file an assault charge that I can file a Sexual Harassment charge on him and he would be a registered sex offender. It was sweet. The cops were 100% on my side.

He dropped it then, apologized to me and left the premises.

After that what’s happened?

The Winter Classic-the outdoor NHL game between the Sabers and Penguins. Sure the Sabers lost. Sure there was more time spent doctoring the ice than actual hockey, but damn was it fun.

Enrolled yesterday to J.C.C. I’m pursuing a career in Education, and to get my degree I have to start it somewhere, so it’ll start there.

I got a job today at Auntie Anne’s Pretzels.

Wait a minute. I’m at J.C.C. and I am working at Auntie Anne’s. Quick, someone check to make sure I didn’t go back in time to 2000.

So all in all, 2008 is shaping up to be a great year for the man known as Tooth Chipper Oz.

Lost season 4 starts in a few weeks as does Survivor: Fans vs.- Fan Favourites.

The WGA just HAS to end soon, right…right???

The Dark Knight, Cloverfield, Star Trek, 007, Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, and that’s just the beginning.

Also we are now one year closer to Peter Jacksons Dualogy of “The Hobbit”.

Sports predictions for 2008? The Packers will beat the Jaguars in Superbowl XLII. The Penguins will beat the Red Wings in the Stanley Cup finals. The Celtics will beat the Spurs in the NBA Finals. And the Indians will beat the Cubs in the World Series.

~Oz

"The Circle"

2008-01-03T22:43:00.001-05:00

Good bye 2007, and good riddance. What a fucking tumultuous year. The relationship woes, the fights with friends, the joblessness, my FUCKING BACK PROBLEMS!!!! Argh.

I was down to 185 lbs. in January, and by December 31st was back up to 215. I guess I had a lot of fun drunk nights.

Okay, so there was some fun times. I had a ball partying with Paul, Joe, Boots, and the rest. The fun parties at Beth and Johns, the fun parties at Annie’s house. May 27th. I went to a game at Yankees Stadium. You know, the one where A-Rod hit the grand slam to come back against the Indians. Okay, THAT part wasn’t cool, but come on…Yankee Stadium. Damn.

I saw the Sabers play a couple times. They won every time I went. Are you listening Mr. Golisano? Give me free season tickets, and the Cup is yours for the taking.

Trivia. What a year we had at that. Of the half a year we went, I think we only lost like maybe 10 times tops. We ruled. Long live the Red Light District Attorneys. Or the Cunning Linguists, or Circle Clerks. Or whatever one of a hundred team names we came up with. Boba Fettuccini. LOVED that one.

I missed Hajis wedding, and that sucked. Me missing it, not the wedding. Me and 6B are friends again though, and that’s cool.

I’m sure we are all very proud of Wyatt finally getting to see Led Zeppelin. If erection lasts for more than four hours seek medical help immediately. Maybe I’ll get to see Pink Floyd some day…

Ditto for the news that Joy and Ben are going to be welcoming in a little one sometime this August. Ya know, that erection line would work here too…and maybe I’ll get to see Pink Floyd some day.

Poker Night made a glorious return. Thanks to John, Ryan, Travis and yours truly for hosting the event.

Karaoke. Damn am I a exhibitionist or what. I never knew.

Yeah for the Large Double Cheese pizza with Pepperoni, sausage, bacon, onions, and mushrooms from Lenas. Or Tasta Pizza. Or Renaldos. Wherever it’s all good, but none quite as good as Lenas.

Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix. Transformers. Shrek 3. The Bourne Ultimatum. Spiderman 3. National Treasure Book Of Secrets. I Am Legend. Oceans 13. A great year for movies. And I haven’t even seen No Country For Old Men or Shoot Em Up yet…

So 2007, in hindsight you do not seem to be as bad as I thought you to be. You were just a victim of Circumstance.

So New Years Eve. Started it out at Applebees. Then realized it was a little too busy so we went to Ruby Tuesdays. “WE” were Paul Calannio, Joe Andrews, John Cortright, Dave Tracy, Holly “Boots” Leach, and Kate Amatuzzo.

Decent meal at Ruby Tuesdays, although the restaurant was way too dark. Afterwards it was off to the Best Western where we were staying in room 224. I’m sorry that I missed Wyatt as he was in the same exact hotel, but alas off to his parents house for the New Years celebration. We played beer pong, King’s Cup (which I have always known as “Circle Of Death”), and got really plastered. Round 10:30ish we went to the Wine Cellar, then to Mojos and finally to Shawbucks. I have no idea where we were when the New Year was rang in because I was drunk out of my mind at this point.

So how did 2008 begin?

I’ll tell you….right after these messages.

~Oz

"The Homecoming"

2007-11-13T15:44:00.000-05:00

The point that some of my coworkers had picked up on, and I had tried to get across was this.

Why would I be stealing from FYE, when I had been working so hard for three weeks to bring a group of thieves to justice.

Let me clarify. At the end of September we had a customer selling back a couple of PSP games. Said he didn’t play the system anymore. Ok. Fine. Whatever, we buy stuff back from customers on a daily basis. It is a major source of income for our company, and we are stressed to buy back as much merchandise as possible. You see, FYE buys items from the customers for a few bucks per title, then turns around and sells it back for as much as a 300% profit depending on the title.

Well, so here was this new buy back customer selling us his games. He got about $5.00 per title. And then he started coming in every day, sometimes up to five times a day. For three weeks this went on. Often he was selling back multiple copies of the same title. About a week into October, a security guard from Sears, and the mall came in and confirmed our suspicions. He had indeed been stealing the games from Sears, and selling them back to us. They had only to wait and catch him in the act. Game Stop had now refused to buy anything from him. Other managers told us that we should stop as well. What was Pats stance? No way. He wasn’t stealing from us. He was helping our store make money, so under no circumstances would we prevent a known thief from acquiring more money through us. Oh, if she could get in touch with Sears in time, to alert him he was in our store, fine. That was ok. But we would still buy his stolen items.

The final time I worked with her before going on vacation, he came into the store. She and I were both at the registers, and he approached me. Pat completely ignored the fact that he was right there, selling numerous titles back. Every attempt I made at alerting her went unnoticed. As SOON as he walked out of the store she came out of her hazy stupor. She feigned ignorance, claiming not to have heard me saying his name loudly numerous times. Bull fucking shit. I knew what she was up to. She didn’t want him to get caught. Why? Because his selling stolen products back to us boosted our used buy back numbers.

And that made her look good.

~Oz

"In The Hands Of The Prophets"

2007-11-13T15:23:00.000-05:00

The Sunday before I went on vacation, I worked with two other employees, and another came in to visit us for a while. I was in a jovial mood, after all I was going on vacation in three days. As a means of boosting our drivers for the day (drivers being loyalty memberships, magazine subscriptions, pre-booked copies of upcoming releases) I decided to give the employees candy bars.

Now understand; I cannot ring up my own sales. Nor can anyone else except for the others managers, Pat and or Shannon. I would not be working with Pat, until after I had come back from vacation. Shannon I would see on Monday, but had no cash to give her that day. I offered to her as well to take a candy bar, and was more than willing to add it to the list of which had already been taken. She declined.

This is where I get in trouble. Shannon did not understand that I was going to pay for these candy bars. She told Pat. Pat (whom had already been looking for ANY excuse to fire me) jumped at this chance and immediately contacted Human Resources, Loss Prevention, and the district manager. She informed them that I had been stealing candy bars. A complete inventory was done on the candy bars, (for the first time in almost a year), and I was blamed for each and every candy bar that had been stolen.

I came in to the store to press my side of the story, but Pat wouldn’t even pretend to believe me. She gave me her usually, “if it was up to me this wouldn’t be happening, but I have no say in the matter” bull shit she tells everyone else she gets rid of, and that was that. After pouring my heart and soul into that company for almost two years, I was canned.

Unlawful consumption of food products.

~Oz

"Duet"

2007-11-13T15:21:00.001-05:00

Fun times abound for Alex!

I went on vacation from FYE 3 weeks ago. On the first day of my vacation, I learned that I was to be terminated upon my return to the store, 10 days from then. I tried to fight the decision, but found only deaf ears. So, the past two vacations I have taken from work, have resulted in my firing at the end of the vacation. Now the Sears incident I will fully own up to. I was calling in at an average of twice a week. I no showed my final day there before my vacation was to begin (now I didn’t know I was supposed to be at work that day, as the schedule had been changed at the last moment and I hadn’t been made aware of that…). But the incident at FYE was an outrage. I am furious about being canned from there. I was never given the chance to defend myself. The decision to fire me was made while I was on vacation and therefore would offer no resistance to the allegations brought forth against me.

Up next…the reason for the treason

~Oz

"Dramatis Personae"

2007-10-19T11:27:00.000-04:00

Me and Billy G wrote this one up together. Might have been one of the finest write ups I was a part of. From 11/6/99, here it is

RE-WRITE OF THE CENTURY

Tonight we have the Loser goes to Hell match for the iNCW! Our guest announcers are arriving just now, Barry "the King" Bawler and Toni Jabroni! Here they come!

Jabroni: Yes, tonight is the Loser goes to Hell match in the iNCW! We have Agent Orange against ChaosBill as the competitors. And as Guest Refs, we have none other than Lance Pink and Chevalier! Here they come now!

King: Listen to that, Tony! They're really letting those guys have it with chants of "#%$hole!" Wait!! Here comes Chaos Bill!!! But who is that with him? Wait a minute! Thats Thawk, DidiSlam, Tough Guy, TheJester, and CatWoman, ! All 6 of them storm out of the back to "We Will Rock You"! Oh, this could get ugly fast!

Jabroni: The old school slammers are now in the ring, riling up the crowd... it's total bedlam here in The Garden!

II

King: Damn skippy! Hear that? Looks like Agent Orange is here, cuz the lights just went out and... and "Electric Funeral" by Black Sabbath is thundering over the PA! The ramp's ablaze! This can only mean one thing, Tony, HE is here and he's PISSED OFF! Here they come...Agent Orange... BigDave, BitterDog... the... my God... The Dark Knight... Max Entropy, and Lord! Now they're walking around the ring taunting "Old School" and riling up the crowd! I can't even hear myself anymore! Oh wait...here comes out commish, Moses.

Moses: Well guys. Since both of you brought out your friends, we might as well make this a little elimination tag match. Now your careers hang in the balance of your buddies....good luck!

III

King: Oh man! Did you hear that! So now it looks like Team Old School -vs- The Circle! This is totally unexpected!

Jabroni: Starting the schtick off for Team Old School will, of course, be ChaosBill himself. and for The Circle, will be Agent Orange... after that, it's any man's fight. They stand in the ring, talking some serious trash! Man, chaosbill has to be out of his mind, AO's at least 2x his size!

King: And there's the bell! Quick knee to the groin by ChaosBill, european uppercut... russian legsweep! Bill is opening with everything he's got... to the third turnbuckle... In the air for a moonsault--

Jabroni: NO! AO is up, catches him, and nearly powerslams him
through the mat! AO drops an elbow... another... oh NO! He's
applying the dreaded... and i mean DREADED "Armpit of Death," which has been brought back for this special match! Nobody's ever sur--

IV

King: Thawk jumps into the ring and breaks the hold with a boot to
the throat! Dark Knight jumps into the ring, cross body block! Lance and Chevy are frantically working to clear the ring! ChaosBill tags in Tough guy...Agent Orange tags BitterDog!

Jabroni: toughGuy definately has the psychopath advantage here, but BitterDog doesn't dissapoint! TG off the ropes... going for a clothesline...ducked by Bitter... Tough Guy on the way back... leapfrog by bitter dog... TG slams on the breaks and puts BD on the mat with some kind of neckbreaker! Going for an elbow drop... Bitter rolls out of the way at the last second!

King: They lock up... BitterDog stomps on his foot... boot to the gut... DDT! BitterDog plants ToughGuy with a DDT, but he isn't giving up so easily! Both on their feet, ToughGuy with a dropkick! BitterDog sails into the turnbuckles and TG follows up with a Vader Attack! Bitter crumbles to the mat like--

V

Jabroni: No! Uppercut to the groin! ToughGuy is in a LOT of pain right now! Knee to the face by BitterDog... sets him up... BRONCO BUSTER!! bitterDog is giving ToughGuy a bronco buster! BitterDog tags in Max Entropy!... Max off the third turnbuckle with a knee drop to ToughGuys throat from WAAAY up there! Max tags BigDave... SAME DEAL! Bigdave tags in Lord! Lord jumps into the ring and... and OH MY GOD!! He is stomping a mudhole in the motionless Toughguy! He must have learned that from his time in big brother! Dark Knight is begging for a tag! No! DigiSlam runs into the ring to break...
Lord tags DK and nails Digislam with a boot to the groin! Dark Knight with a flying heel drop right onto ToughGuy from the third turnbuckle! ToughGuy isn't moving!

VI

Jabroni: DK tags Max... Mex in the air from the third turnbuckle... Dark Knight powerbombs Max Entropy onto toughGuy!! The refs clear DigiSlam and Lord from the ring and DK starts screaming
smack at ToughGuy! Max with the cover... too easy, ToughGuy is out cold! 1...2...3! toughguy is staggering to the back when... Agent Orange picks him up, tombstone piledriver onto the pavement followed by a vicious use of the steel steps!

King: OH THE CARNAGE!! TOUGHGUY IS DEAD!! DECAPITATED BY THE STEEL STEPS!! First death of the night!! oh this is SICK! Now in the ring is ChaosBill vs Max Entropy! Bill with a spinning heel kick to Max... Max is teetering! WHAM! ChaosBill with a boot to Max's bad knee! STUNNER! ChaosBill just stunned Max Entropy! Now he's applying a sharpshooter, really applying the pressure to Max's bad knee! Max is trying to get to the ropes... No dice! He is forced to tap out! Max Entropy is done and heads for the back, with a shotgun slung over his shoulder! That's 4-4 now!

VII

Jabroni: Agent Orange into the ring... these guys are at it again, when guys on both sides haven't even gotten into the fray? Here they go! chaosBill again opens up with a fury of attacks... Agent Orange is teetering... Bill whips him into the ropes... AO looking for a clothesline on the way back... dropkick by Chaos! Bill off the top turnbuckle with a moonsault... BAM! Agent Orange is down! chaosBill drops 2 elbows and several punches to the face, now ChaosBill tries for a cover... 1...2...NO! Broken up by Lord with a solid boot to the arse!

King: ChaosBill tags in thawk! Agent Orange still hasn't tagged anyone in! thawk and AO square off... boot to the gut by Agent Orange... Powerbomb! Ao grabs thawks feet... Oh how AWFUL! Knee drop to the groin! That'll sterilize ya! AO off one set of ropes... the other--

VIII

Jabroni: Met with a fist to the head by CatWoman! Agnet Orange topples like a house of cards! Thawk is rolling on the mat in pain, both sets of teams are straining for a tag here!

King: This may be awhile! I've just recieved word from the back that
something horrible has happened... Rodney DangerField has been found shot to death! With him is Speed Demon! Back to the action; Thawk tags catwoman and she jumps from the turnbuckle with a flying elbow! Agent Orange meets them with a size 15 foot to the face! Catwoman hits the mat and is dazed! Agent Orange tags in BigDave! Dave runs in and starts kicking and stomping like a house of fire!

IX

Jabroni: Yeah! Goes for the cover on the dazed CatWoman...1...2..NO! Broken up by Digislam! Dark Knight catapults Bitterdog into the air and Bitter nails Digi with a spectacular double leg drop from 15
feet up! BigDave tags in Lord as the ring gets cleared... Now
we have Lord sqaring off with Catwoman. Lord flips Catwoman off and charges! Fierce series of rights to the face! Stomp on the foot, knee to the head... elbow to the back... Guillotine leg drop! Man, Lord is going nuts out there.... Immediately to the top rope... looks like he's going for a huge splash... NO! catWoman
rolls out of the way! Rookie error there! Now Catwoman is setting up for a bronco buster! NO CHANCE IN HELL! Dark Knight runs into the ring... STUNNER!!! STUNNER!!! Catwoman hits the mat like a 2 ton weight!

King: chevalier just threw Wild Bill from the ring. Lord with the
cover... like there's any real problem now... 1...2...3! Catwoman is
TOAST! Here comes Thawk from behind! Caught Lord off guard! Atomic Drop! Thawk with the cover... 1...2...3! Lord is gone! Look at that, Dark Knight is chasing Catwoman up the ramp! looks like he's setting her up for---

X

Jabroni: NIGHTFALL FATALITY!!! I can't believe it! He killed
Catwoman out of cold blood! Now we have Thawk in the ring with
Agent Orange! Bitterdog is begging for a tag... no dice! Thawk bounces off the ropes, elbowing Bitter off the ring apron! Now he tagged ChaosBill! CB off the top turnbuckle with a spinning heel kick! Agent Orange takes the shot but is still standing! AO off one set of ropes... ChaosBill ducks the elbow... Orange to go-- NO! Digislam just hit Agent Orange in the head with the timekeeper's bell! Lancepink and Chevy aren't doing a thing! We know they've let this fight go on like a hardcore battle, but this is insane! Agent Orange is really dazed... chaosbill dropkicks him! Knee drop to the
throat... 1...2...shoulder up! CB applies some kind of headbutt
drop or something! BigDave trying to get into the ring to break up the second cover attempt, but Chevy keeps him out! 1...2...3! Agent Orange is eliminated! He barely rolls out of the ring and here comes Bitterdog!

XI

Jabroni: Bitterdog spears ChaosBill and it's an all out brawl! Fists and feet are flying!! bitter gains a momentary upper hand and tosses ChaosBill out of the ring! bitterdog to the top rope... it gets shaken by Digislam!! BitterDog falls on top of ChaosBill! They must have cracked their heads together because NEITHER is moving!!

King: And there's the count-out Chaos and bitter don't know who they are or where they are! bitterdog sits down on the decapitated body of Toughguy, who is still twitching! I don't think bitterDog knows what the hell is going on! Chaosbill staggers out to the back. Now remaining for The Circle is the Dark Knight and BigDave, and for Team OldSchool, thawk and Digislam!

XII

King: Digislam squares off with Bigdave... dave with a Polish uppercut followed by a vicious backhand! Didicomes back with a series of smacks! He's trying to lay the Smack Down on BigDave! Dave kicks his knee, twists... Oh yeah!!! Boston Crab!! Digislam is in a LOT of pain right now! Thawk jumps in the ring to break it up... NO! Dark Knight off the top turnbuckle for... for an INVERTED NIGHTFALL!! thawk is DOWN!!! Dark Knight kicks digislam several times in the head...

Jabroni: Wait a second! We've just received word from the back...
ChaosBill IS DEAD!!! CHAOSBILL IS DEAD!!! Someone found him out back, obviously overcome by The Armpit of DEATH, then according to the coroner on the scene, he's been drowned in jello!! Yes! Grape Jello! That still doesn't explain the wooden dildo shoved in his ear, but I'd say it's overkill! JUST LIKE WHAT BIGDAVES DOIN' TO DIGISLAM!!! Dark Knights got Digi in a figure four leglock and BigDave is hitting him in the face with a steel yo-yo! Oh the humanity!

XIII

King: What's this? A peace offering? YES!! Dave is offering Digislam a piece of Pez! DK releases Didi and picks up thawk by the throat! Thawk is still out cold! Look at BigDave! He's shoving that Pez Dispenser so far down Digislams Throat, you'd think this was a cartoon!! That's harsh!! I'll bet nobody's ever died choking on a Pez Dispenser before!

Jabroni: I can't bear to watch, look over there! The Dark Knight, is stealing thawks soul!!! Incredible!!! Thawk is left twitching and screaming on the mat as DK turns to Lance Pink! The match is obviously over, but The Circle OBVIOUSLY doesn't think so!! It appears that Lance has DISQUALIFIED Dark Knight for soul taking!! I can't believe this!! Well.. can anyone? Dark Knight kicks Lance in the balls... STUNNER!! Bigdave is the last of The circle... THE CIRCLE WINS!!!

XIV

King: Oh my GOD! DK just destroyed thawks soul!!! It's GONE!! Here come Max Entropy with several firearms and such, and Agent Orange is
with him... with a MACHETE!! AO decapitates the twitching thawk!!
OH my GOD, he killed THAWKY!! That bastard!!

Jabroni: Now from the back come Bombshell, Tamzi, Sic Puppy, Amer_Eagle, Cage, and the Mighty and Powerful DAVELEE!!! Oh, it's total anarchy! The horror, the humanity.. the ratings boost!! H

King: chevalier is now squaring off with Dark Knight... they're screaming at each other... Lance is out cold... Not any more! Dave and Max break him in half on a table turned on its side!! That's just BRUTAL!!! All little kids, if you're STILL watching, YOUR PARENTS SHOULD BE SHOT!!! TURN OFF THIS TV RIGHT NOW... nah... on second thought... WE WANT YOU TO HAVE NIGHTMARES!!! YEEEHEHEHEHAHAHAAAA!!

XV

Jabroni and King begin to fight with their chairs and mics.... King
applies a tombstone piledriver on Jabroni... Jabroni pulls a gun and
shoots King directly up between his legs!!! That bullet just exited the top of his head! Good thing he wasn't alive, otherwise he'd WANT to die.... Entropy notices the new gun on the scene and puts Jabroni out with a burst from his SKS. DK seems to not care about the fight going on, or his teammates frantic screams to stop... he's cutting open the mat!!

THERE'S A VAT OF MERCURY UNDER THERE!!! Agent Orange jumps from the third turnbuckle into the mercury... and floats right up!! Mercury's so dense, you can WALK on it!! Check this out! Amer_Eagle is up in the rafters... drops down on top of AO with a pogo stick!!! Agent Orange just got impaled by Amer Eagle!!! That'll leave a mark! Agent Orange is essentially DEAD! DK sees this, swears violently, then throws his Member Defender (knife) at AmerEagle... Nailed him in the temple! That'll really leave a gouge!

XVI

Now Dark Knight grabs Chevalier... Chevy wrenches free and runs like hell. It's an all out brawl out there!!! cage walks out from the back, and DK makes a hand motion at him... HE GETS CRUSHED BY A GIANT
GOBSTOPPER! What the hell is up with THAT?! Nobody seems to notice
Bitterdog, who's STILL sitting on the twitching corpse of Toughguy... eeeewww!! He's picking TOughguys decapitated nose! He's NUTS! Wait!! Here comes Tamzi... Bitter takes the head and shoves it down Tamzis throat! Talking about DEEP THROAT ACTION!!! Too bad ToughGuy doesn't feel it! Tamzi is dead! Here comes DaveLee! He farts on Bitterdog!!! BitterDog MELTS!!! Oh now that's just uncalled for!! Talking about TASTELESS!!!

XVII

He takes one of BitterDogs bones and shoves it through Sic Puppys head! Talking about getting BONED! Here comes Bombshell... IN A SUPER-LATE RACE CAR!!! It's sporting a #27! He runs over DaveLee AND BubbaKing!! SPLATTO!!! OH no! He just hit Agent Orange's body, drops the drive shaft... POLE VAULTS THE CAR OVER THE RING!! KABOOOOOOMM!!! He just took out rows 7-40 in the D section! HOLY @##$!! Not only is the crazy guy in one piece, he's walking away, just a wee bit of smoke coming from his arse!! Realizing that he's done here, he leaves for parts unknown.

XVIII

Cage and Bugsy are duking it out with Maul! Maul uses his X-rated vision to strip them BUCK NEKKID! They turn on Maul and kill him to little pieces!! They turn to leave... NO! Here comes Magus! He applies the BALL SCRATCHER on BOTH OF THEM! Now he's... oh it's HORRIBLE!! Here comes Quint!! He defacates in BOTH of their mouths! The toxicity of the levels of the feces kills ALL THREE OF THEM!! Quint heads for the ring, to kill the Max and BigDave...

Meanwhile, Dark Knight and Chevalier are duking it out on the lake of
Mercury! Chevy kicks him in the groin! DK doubles over... he goes
for a DDT... NO! DK manages to hoist him into a side suplex...
SPLASH! right onto the mercury's surface... DK cuts one of the ropes
and whips him with it!

Dark Knight: WHO'S YO DADDY?!

XIX

He wraps the rope around Chevys neck, and ties the other end of it to a 300lb weight and throws it into the lake! It sinks like a stone and CHEVY GETS HUNG UPSIDE-DOWN IN THE VAT OF MERCURY!! Will he die of hanging, or drowning? Not like it matters, the feet hanging out of the surface are just damn right amusing! Too bad he kicked some of that mercury into Dark Knights mouth! Oh man, MAD HATTER SYNDROME!!

Dave and Max have frozen Magus in a block of clear ice.... With a
sodomized rubber chicken stuffed up his nose! Dark Knight starts to
scream and cry and laugh and scratch his unmentionables as he tries to
balance on the feet sticking out of the mercury... HE'S A *REAL* LUNATIC NOW!! Max breaks out with a chaingun... TARGET PRACTICE!!
He puts close to 40,000 holes in the block of ice and Magus with
it!! Oh that's just OVERKILL... but when isn't it?!

XX

20 minutes later

BigDave, Max Entropy, and Dark Knight stand on the smoking ruins of the iNCW arena...DK is busy chewing on the barrels of one of the chainguns.

DK: Come on, WHERE'S THE DAMN CREAM FILLING?!

Dave looks at Max. Max looks at Dave. Dave looks at Max. Max looks at Dave. Davelooks at Max. Max looks at Dave. Suddenly there is the sound of a squeaking wheel approaching.... DK doesn't seem to notice... he accidentally happens to pull the pin from the grenade and....

XXI

Agent Orange wakes up in a pool of his own sweat...

"Wow...what a wierd dream, Damn! Talk about match anxiety. I hope that really doesnt happen man. I dont want to DIE!"

He looks at the clock, realized its only 3:24am, and goes back to sleep.

XXII

16 hours later

Festee: Wow ladies and gentlemen, do we have a great match for you tonight. Our main event pits two classics against eachother. Chaos Bill, who as you know is one of the original 13 slammers, will face off against Agent Orange, who has been around since early '98. Both men have had there fare share of experience here in CSlam. We dont know much about ChaosBill and his triumphs, but we do know some stuff about Agent Orange.

Mayes: Please, spare us the spiel on what college he went to and what football team he played for.

Festee: Dont worry Lord Mayes. Im only talking bout his CSlam career. He has been in numerous stables, some being Big Brother, the Assassins Guild, the Dark Side, the Rebellion, and many others. He is currently a member of the Circle, headed up by his close friend, the Dark Knight. His title history is as follows; one time CBF heavyweight champ, lightweight champ, two time intercontinental champ, he revived the European Title which was vacated by Cabo, won the Tag titles once with AL bradd in the team called the "Thought Police". In the iMWA he won the heavyweight title once. Here in the iNCW he is a three time worlds champ, numerous respect title winner, and a former member of the tag team known as "Blurred Image". He represented the CBF and Big brother in the Ultimate finals back in October of '98, finishing third, only because he was jobbed down by CerealKiller.

XXIII

Mayes: You better shut up there Body...youve already missed Chaosbills entrance. Agent Orange is halfway down the friggin ramp now!

Festee: Sorry, got carried away...Ok, both men are in the ring now, circling eachother, trying to size the other up. You know, Agent Orange defenately has the size advantage here. ChaosBill is going to have his work cut out for him.

They lock up, punch to the face by Agent orange. He delivers a kick to the groin...CB cant take that kinda punishment! He is probaly on viagra as it is, the old fossile!

Mayes: That damn stuff is expensive! How am I supposed to...oh nevermind. Back to the action!

XXIV

Festee: Yeah...thats sick Lord Mayes. Know what...i refuse to work out here with you until you clean up your act!

Festee leaves the announcers stand. Lord Mayes bursts into tears and runs after Festee. Accidentaly, as he runs past the ring, he knocks into one of the ropes that ChaosBill was standing on. CB loses his balance and falls to the mat. He immediately signals for the bell.

Wait..this wasnt supposed to happen! CB is really hurt. Agent Orange looks around in confusion. The referee is tending to ChaosBill now. Wait...here is the ring announcer. He has just talked to the REF

RA: Ladies and gentlemen...this match will continue.

XXV

Inside the ring the ref instructs agent orange to just pick up bill, deliver a quick Tranquilizer, and end the match. Bill has severly injured his knee and cannot go on any further until undergoing strict medical care. So...

AO sets CB up for the Tranquilizer...and nails him. CB is down, AO for the pin...1...2...AO PULLS UP!!!!

The ref looks at Agent Orange is shock. AO nails the referee with a closed right! HE glares down upon ChaosBill who is looking up in fear. Fear of what Agent Orange might do to his injured body. Then AO produces a lead pipe from his trunks. He winds up, swings it around and BAM!!!

XXVI

He just whacked bills injured knee with the force of a locomotive! WHAM! he nails him again and again, viciously hacking away at ChaosBills injured knee. It looks like AO doesnt give a damn about his mans wellbeing!

HERE COMES TOUGHGUY AND HIS BODY GUARDS!!!! They surround the ring. AO notices them and pulls away from Chaos Bill. He now takes out a mic.

XXVII

AO: Hey Billy boy...listen up and listen well. The voice you hear right now is that of your god! I could end your life right now, and I very well might have ended your CSlam career tonight. I will let you go though, so you can tell the other 12 losers what it is like to step into my world. Face it, your time is up! It is MY time now ya oik! hit my music!

A rope extends from the rafters and AO climbs on and rides to higher ground as Toughguy and his bodyguards tend to the fallen Chaos Bill.

And the cameras fade toblack.

"The Forsaken"

2007-10-18T20:59:00.000-04:00
"Bastille Day" by Rush blares over the PA, as the Dave Connection rush to the ring along with Lexus.

HN: SACRE MERDE! Tazz is so consumed with beating on AO that he doesnt even notice BigDave standing behind him.

He taps him on the shoulder...Tazz turns and..WHACK! He gets nailed with a hard left by the leader of the Rebellion.

Chainz: Jenna is jumping on BD's back, pounding hopelessy away and here comes Lexus. She yanks Jenna off of him, and pummles away! CCcCCc...CCC..CCCat fight!!!WOOHOO!!!

HN: Get a grip of yourself Chainz!

NO WAIT...I DIDNT MEAN!!!!OH WHO PERVERSE!!!WE ARE ON AIR DAMMIT!!!! PUT IT AWAY PUT IT AWAY!!!!

Chainz: Oh yeah....sorry. Jay Leno is looking worried...He is backing out of the ring...wise move. He wouldnt want to het beating on by all those Rebels. Tazz and Jenna just hada rude awakening in the ring. And Jay is the only one to survive and tell the tale.

HN: dont speak to soon buddy! A fan just grabbed Jay from behind and dragged him into the seats. Where is security?!?! He is beating on Leno relentlessly with a steel chair!

Chainz: Hey! Thats not a fan! That is Bombshell! What the HELL?!

HN: IM SORRY FANS!!!WE ARE DESPERATELY OUT OF TIME!!!GOOD NI...

The sky splits open with a clash of thunder. Lightening bolts all
around and luminates all with its glow.

All the manwhile, down on the ground, a man stands, tall and
mighty, with a lofty air about him. Cloaked in crimson and
sable he stands his ground against the oncoming assault of this
mighty storm, knowing full well he can weather its attack.

But then, a cloud, darker than all of its brothers descends
slowly from the heavens. Ever so slowly it makes its way for
the man on the ground.

Suddenly the could bursts open, and a figure, all alone is
rapidly falling, coming straight down for the man on the
ground.

The man in sable and crimson, who just a minute ago looked
so brave and reslute, is now panicing and running around in
circles like a chicken with its head cut off.

A purple vapor rises up around him, and the falling figure
stoops low over him.

The man goes dumb, and falls, but not on his own accord.
Laughing the figure leaves a note on TAZZES chest.

FADE TO BLACK

"Busy Child" by The Crystal Method blares out the PA system in the
iNCW arena. The 72 fans in the arena at 3:00 am are all sleeping.

Larry Nabisco: What the hell? Here comes Agent orange, but he is dressed
up like...like...Lance Pink! What the...

Chainz: I knew AO was acting a little funny latly but this...this is a little bit
over the edge.

Nabisco: Hmmm...I think AO is just a wee bit tipsy out there as well. He is
stumbling all over the aisle.

Chainz: A little too much like Lance. Hell, he cant even WALK straight
anymore.

Nabisco: Well..he is in the ring now. Lets see what he has to say.

AO: Bonjour iNCW!

I jus wanna say to tazz that...even tho i may smell like frog...and even tho i
may look a lil bit...funny....and even tho i might be jus a bit drunk...but..i can
still kick the merde outta tha losa tazz.

so..tazz, why donchu come out 'ere now in fron' o all thes fan an' we get it
on?

Nabisco: Hmmm...he is dressed like Lance...i hope he doesnt mean...ya
know...get IT on...

Chainz: And what is up with these French references? HE sure is hell aint
Chevy. Now HE is a true competitor.

Nabisco:In monotone: Yes. Chevalier truly does deserve to be in the hall of
fame. A true face like him would never need his stable to job him in. Long
live Chevalier.

A man with a "Knights" T-shirt walks up and hands Nabisco a nice big
bag of...laundry...yeah...laundry.

Suddenly Tazz runs down the aisle with Jenna and Jay Leno.

But, just as they get up to Agent Orange...

"If Wishes Were Horses"

2007-10-18T19:55:00.000-04:00
This was from 9/30/1999

Yes indeed. I’m Alex this is the dramatic return of the Ozporn. It’s the SEASON PREMIERE of THE Internet’s best loved newsletter.....the most INNOVATIVE....the most INFLUENTIAL INTERNET COLUMN ON THE
WHOLE....WHOLE....err Internet!!! Hannon may now retake his rightful
spot FAAR behind my white ass. It’s over kid....you’re back to being number 2.
Lots and lots and oodles of stuff to go through....just some catching up that I feel obliged to take care of. Feel free to read it if you like...or don’t....I couldn’t really care less.

First off, you don’t really want to know where I’ve been these last two weeks.....it’s pretty boring. No car accidents....no heart attacks......no AIDS Virus....no husband coming home early....just a little real life getting in the way of my Internet fun. Hell, I was going to take THIS week off too....but since Al said that I’d be back this week in his Saturday news thing...and Lord knows just about all of Hotmail management is pissed enough at me already (don’t ask)...I
figured I’d saddle up in front of the old keyboard, take off my
pants....and make good on his word. It IS nice to see that a massive wave of letters must have prompted Al to say that I’d be back....it’s nice to feel wanted. Why..I’m half tempted to give out my phone number online....just so you could all kiss my ass through AT&T.

Oh wait..somebody already gave out my number already.....OOO THAT NO
GOOD DAMN RAT BAST....

Oh wait...that’s not my number....heh...how typically half assed......it must be my imaginary sister’s number.

It’s so fun watching people try so desperately to get me to talk about them again.

Second off, the letters I’ve received during my absence. It’s an interesting trend. During the first week..I don’t get many letters anymore. I used to get tons of people screaming at me for having dared bail out a week....but you kids are pretty much used to it by now. When I go two weeks straight, however, I get a lot of “Hello? Are you okay? Did you die?”. Now excuse me, but if I was dead...how could I go online and read your letters? I mean..okay....I’m sure that if there is a Hell...there’s already a room reserved for me...my Mother probably has cleared spaced in her closet already. And I’m SURE Hell
would involve daily visits to mirabilis.com...but come on people....I really doubt Satan is going to let me check me e-mails.

At least nobody called for me to turn in my Internet awards this time around.

Besides..I already gave a relative Al’s phone number. So if I WAS to die during my time here on hotmail. She’ll be sure to call him and let him know. That way he can have a full Internet eulogy posted for all to mourn. Then you can get Haji, Paul, and Bill to wear black armbands in my honor. Neat huh?

Then, of course..you can stop payment on your Internet accounts and throw out your PC’s...because let’s face it....this Net SUCKS without me. I’ve been around while I was gone..I surfed....the number of newsletters seemed to have tripled in my absence....all of them saying the same stuff.....can’t tell any of them apart anymore. If they aren’t ripping me off..they’re ripping Hannon
off..or both of us. Jeezus...this place blows. There’s even a CHICK
COLUMNIST running around now..I think her name is “Galactus” or something (and MAN...can she EAT)....good Lord....do we really need that?

Two more things then I’m done....

1). Hannon went back to 411. I know that I SHOULD be pissed about
it..seeing how I was bragging about recruiting him...but I’m not. The truth is that he was given an opportunity....took it....tried his best at it....and decided that he preferred the smaller, more concentrated audience that 411 has. And let’s face it, 411 was hurting without him. He liked his old home better than his new home.....and I have no problem with that. I mean, let’s be real..it is HARD to try to distinguish yourself here on hotmail...where most of the audience just reads Al’s stuff anyway. Then, after Al, there’s me. there’s a LOT of talent here to compete with for notoriety. So no..I’m not mad...or even disappointed. He gave it his best shot.

2) FINALLY.....this week’s closer is probably what you were waiting for. A “Farewell” closer dedicated to the departure of a special man...in much the same fashion as I did my “Farewell” closer to Lou Deppas during his announced retirement from MB a year or so back....cool huh?

And now boys and girls for a REEL special treat....can ya guess what it is? Of course ya cant.
thisis the point of the column where NON-jhs mb members or ppl who care bout it, should get up, get a drink, and come back when its done.

this past weekend, jhs had a free day...but whilst you were resting, the other bands in the conference were out competing...and they are better for it. Not necessarily better than jhs, but they are more improved now than they were a week ago. Anyhu, here are the scores for last weeks shows.

September 25, 1999
At Medina
6:30pm

LD3
Lancaster 62.76
North Tonawanda 65.84

SD2
Phoenix 77.91
Johnstown 71.83
Marcus Whitman 72.26
Victor 76.11
Southwestern 70.38

LD2
Orchard Park 78.00

SD1
Eastridge 79.54
Medina 81.16

At Norwich
7:00pm

SD3
Mohawk 59.59
Homer 70.03

LD3
Copiague 72.60
Baldwinsville 73.89
Central Square 77.05
Binghamton 64.64

SD2
Johnson City 74.57
Norwich Exh.

At Oswego
7:00pm

SD1
East Syracuse-Minoa 77.91
Jordan-Elbridge 75.94

LD1
Cicero-North Syracuse 81.42
Webster 84.33
Liverpool 84.59
West Genesee 86.04
Oswego Exh

And that is it for last weekend
as you can see, O.P has gained some groud, and the Artists formerly known as the National Class are all doing exceptionally well thus far.

Now i have a nice little message to "Sophia" who thinks that i am bad mouthing the band. I want you to take your mouthpiece, shine it up all nice and bright, put it into yer instrument, uh-uh, do NOT play it yet...turn that sumbitch sideways, and shove it straight up your candy ass!

~Oz

"Progress"

2007-10-18T19:54:00.000-04:00
Agent "00420" Orange sits in his lockeroom watching CSPN. The 9:00am version of SlamCenter is on (he wasnt awake for the earlier showings).
Executive: Today on SlamCenter, its been a long cold night
Footage of blizzard raging outside iNCW arenaChainz: This Knight loses a close friend
footage of Chevalier sending Papion to the CGW
Executive: Was you night as dark as this ladies?
footage of Princess takling about Dark Knight
Chainz: And who is the real "Messiah" of the indy feds?
Footage of Agent Orange and Brain Child locked in a stardown.
Executive: Find out this and all of your philosophical answers today on SlamCenter. Executive: Good morning and welcome to SlamCenter on CSPN. Where you can eat your donuts in peace, be you a bagman in a grocery store, or a lone knight fighting the just.
Chainz: Which gives me a nice lead in to our main topic of discussion this morning. This feud between Chevalier and Dark Knight up in the CBF. That will be the topic today on Wensday Discussion with reporter Wildcat.
Executive: Thank you Chainz. Have you ever gone away on vacation for a few weeks, and come back home to find that you never really left? Well, at least noone thinks you left? That is just the case for Agent Orange, the self-proclaimed Messiah of the indy feds. About three months ago he left the iNCW for the CBF. Upon his leaving, a man known as the Brain Child stepped out of the shadows, claiming to be Agent Orange. After a few quiet weeks, news of this imposter got up to Agent Orange in the iNCW. He promptly asked The Limit for a release in his contract so he could go back to the iNCW and set this imposter in his place.
Chainz: And when he first showedup, things got heated up real quick. I dont believe Brain Child was expecting the true Agent Orange to ever show up again. But then...wahaa! There he was, shoving a mic straight down his throat.
Executive: For the past week or so these two men have gone their seperate ways, allthough wary all the time of the other man, ever ready to defend his right to be called the real Agent Orange. And then last night, a man stepped up and started rolling a rock which could turn into an avalanche.
Chainz: Jason Grimm, who was Agent Oranges old friend, and stable mate, has suggested that Agent Orange and Brain Child square off to decide just who really is the true Messiah. And even more than that, he has volunteered to be the special guest referee.
Executive: We will have comments from the two slammers later on today following Wensday Night Shoots at 8:00est 9:00cent time.
And now for a quick rundown of the other stories in the news today. The slammer known as "Hamboy" has been sent to Slammsville Prison, where he will serve 5 years hard labour for his heinous actions against the iNCW slammers.
Chainz: The new commish in the iNCW has already gotten involved majorly in the happenings of the iNCW. He has told HBK his place, and has already threatened the noted slammer Picronka to mind his p's and q's. And well, Executive, we got to go to a commercial, but when we come back...did you know?
Executive: Agent Orange has won alot of different titles under alot of different gimics, but, can do you know who he beat for his first title victory ever? Did you know, when we come back.

~Oz

"The Storyteller"

2007-10-18T19:52:00.001-04:00
This was something I attempted back on the 25th of August in 1999. I belonged to a cyber wresting federation back in those days, and was quite proud of myself at the time. I still miss those old days, and the "Creative" side of me that came out in this.
enjoy. or not.

The Writeup. ALL DAMMIT!I am sorry about the abscense of DanDrozzi in my writeup. When I wrote this all last weekend I had no clue he was the ref. The arena goes quiet. The house lights go down to a barely visible glow, and then suddenly the PA system comes to life. "Everybody wants to rule the World" plays as Brain Child makes his way to ringside, escorted by his personal call by call man Festee "The Body". The crowd standing on its feet cheer loudly for the Brain Child, Agent Orange, the Mirror Image of CSlam. As he hits the ring he takes a mic.
BC: Tonight fans, the iNCW will experience something which has NVER before been done here. This Heavyweight championship of the World match will NOT be decided by the mere technical skills of a slammer, but rather on how creative he is with a write-up. You should all be in awe, for you here are witnissing history in the making. That is all. Hit my opponents music.
Rocky enters Festee makes his way to the announcers table, joining "Lord" Alfred Mayes, replacing Toni Jabroni, as "Standing on top of the world" blares over the PA system and Rocky makes his way ringside escorted by several beautiful valets, and the Worlds title drapped over his shoulder. He too takes a mic...
Rocky: At the end of tonights match, let there be no doubt in anyones mind who the better slammer is. Brain Child, you asked for this match, now you have got it!
With that he throws down the mic, and charges at Brain Child with the furiousness of a raging bull. The Match begins Festee: And this match is underway. This should prove to be a most entertaining match Lord Mayes!
Mayes: You got that right Body! We have to members of one of the most promising up and coming stables in Cyberslam today, The Rebellion, pitted against eachother in a winner takes all battle! But this isnt the first time in iNCW history that the slammer they call the "Indy Messiah" has faced off against a member of his own brethen.
Festee: Nope, we can never forget that classic hardcore bout between Mirror Image and Jason Grimm, that was without a shadow of a doubt the most bloodiest, gruesome match I have ever witnessed in my long tenure of commenting in Cyberslam! But enough of that, Lord Mayes, we have got a match to call right here on our hands!
Mayes: And Rocky throws Brain Child into the ropes, leapfrogs over him, and delivers a smashing elbow to the face of the Brain Child. Now he is delivering a series of fists to his kisser.
Festee: Wait, Brain Child grabs Rockys fist. He headbutts the worlds champ! Now he delivers a running clothesline. Rocky falls down to the mat. Brain Child takes Rockys left leg and SNAPS it backwards! He is trying to pop his tires!
Injury prone??? Mayes: Not a bad stratedgy on his part. Brain Child knows that beating Rocky right out is no easy task. That job will be MUCH easier if Rocky cannot get to his feet.
Festee: Brain Child moves him over to the ropes, places the leg up on the lower rope and starts jumping on it, and NO! Rocky moved out of the way, and Brain Child just got HIS leg tangled up in the rope now!
Mayes: Rocky wasting no time, going right over to Brain Childs tied up leg, and now pounding away at it with his good leg. Brain child is striving to free his leg, and he does so. Now the two men are starring at eachother...Rocky levels Brain Child and sends him flying out of the ring down to the concrete floor!
Festee: And he follows him stealthfully like a wild animal slowly closing in on its injured prey. He starts kicking at Brain Childs ribs like a madman! Come on Rocky! That is your stable mate! You dont want to KILL him!
Mayes gives a lesson Mayes: First off Body, this is a match for the Worlds title. You do whatever you must to ensure your victory. Secondly, it was Brain Child, NOT Rocky who asked for this match. He will get what he deserves now. There are no friends in this type of match.
Festee: Thank you for your heart-warming views Lord Mayes. And Rocky continues this vicious assault on Brain Child...but whats this...Brain child is reaching underneath the ring, and is trying to pull something out...IT IS A CONVENIENTLY PLACE HOCKEY STICK! BRAIN CHILD NAILS ROCKY WITH A HOCKEY STICK RIGHT OFF SIDE HIS FOREHEAD! THE SHOT SENDS HIM REELING TOWARDS THE GROUND!
Mayes: See Body, no friends in this match. Both these men want that worlds heavyweight title belt right now, more than anything in the world! They know full-well the price to pay to become champion. Sometimes it includes sacrificing your friends, so you can move one step closer to the gold!
Assault Festee: Listen to yourself Lord Mayes! Can you hear what your saying?! That is a very morbid view on life. Now Brain Child is poised over the limp body of Rocky, and starts bruttaly hacking away at his left leg again, only this time it is with a hockey stick! Oh this isnt good at all Lord Mayes! From here it looks as if blood is staining Rockys pants! He must be cut wide open now. This has to be...
Mayes: Something is happening Body! Someone is rushing down the aisle, with a mask on there face! Could this be the very same person we saw abduct Brain Child last week from the 160 Proof Bar?
Festee: I dont know, but I DO know he is carrying a baseball bat...Brain Child doesnt see him coming and...
WHACK!!!
Brain Child just got leveled with a baseball bat by that masked assaulter! And now he just slivers away into the crowd like a shadow in the night.
Mayes: Both men are down now outside the ring. Brain Child seemingly unconcsious, Rocky down and out with a broken leg. Lets cut to a commercial break.
This aint Nitro! Festee: Uhhh.....Mayes...we cant cut to a commercial break...this is a Pay Per View event...that means we stay with the action, until it has taken its course, whether they are fighting it out, or both knocked out on the concrete floor. What we CAN do is cut to the back until these men gather themselves. Apparently the iNCW Commish, Doc Whiskey has a few words to say.
The camera cuts to the back where the Doc awaits.
Doc: thank you Body! Ladies and gentlemen, what you are witnessing can only be brought to you by the iNCW, the premier indy federation in Cyberslam. When two men of the same stable can go into the ring and give it their all as these two combatents are doing is remarkable! And I just have an inkling that in this match, we havent seen anything yet. Body, back to you!
Back to the action Festee: Ok, we are back at ringside. Rocky is the first man back to his feet. He glances down at this fallen opponent, and looks about him in wonder.
Mayes: I dont think Rocky has any clue what happened to Brain Child. All he knows is that his opponent is momentarily out of action. Now lets see if he properly capitalizes on this oppertunity.
No, he is just standing over his body, waiting for him to come to! This is plain out stupid on Rockys behalf! KICK HIM!!!! KICK HIM!!!! BEAT HIM SENSLESS GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!
Festee: WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU LORD MAYES!?!?! CALM DOWN! Brain Child is slowly getting to his feet now, and Rocky backs off. Brain Child is now standing up, staring at Rocky. Now Rocky is making his way up the entrance ramp into the back. Brain Child though is hot in pursuit! Lets get a camera back there...Joe...do we have one? Ok. In the back Mayes: Hey! Look at this! Rocky has an electrical cord wrapped around Brain Childs neck! Hahaha!!! Looks like he wants the title just a little bit more!
Festee: This is disgusting. Totallyt uncal...
WHO THE HELL!??!!?!??! SOMEONE JUST RAN BY AND NAILED ROCKY WITH A LEAD PIPE! WHO WAS THAT?!?!!??!
Mayes: AN IDIOT!!! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?! ROCKY COULD HAVE HAD THE VICTORY....ohhhhh.......DAMMIT!!!!
Festee: Well, that was enough it looks like for the Rebellion. After two run ins, Jason Grimm and Blur have come out to make sure noone else interferres in this match. Brain Child is the first man to his feet now. And he goes over to Rocky and picks him up. He begins to drag him towards the exit from the arena. And the other men just follow.
The great plunge Now they are out on the loading dock...oh no... I hope that he doesnt plan on doing what i....
Mayes: Brain child sets Rocky up at the side of the dock...picks him up and...JUMPS OFF THE PLATFORM WITH ROCKY TUCKED AWAY IN A REVERSE FLYING DDT!!!! THAT IS A 15 FOOT DROP THAT HE JUST TOOK!!!!
Festee: Oh my god! Both men are totally unconcsious now. And it looks like the Rebellion isnt going to follow down...they are going around the long way. Lord Mayes, there is NO movement whatsoever down there on the ground. It looks like both of those men are corpses. Where is Blur and Jason Grimm? I cant believe they havent come to the aid of there two fellow stable mates. What the?!?! Mayes did you hear what I heard?
Mayes: Yeah! This is great!
WHAT?! WHO?! WHY!? Festee: It appears as if Blur and Jason Grimm have just been jumped and beaten by two masked men. Now we are receiving visual...OH MY GOD!!!! THOSE TWO MASKED MEN HAVE JUST REVEALED THEMSELVES! THEY ARE....THEY ARE...
Mayes: IT IS POLISH EAGLE AND PICRONKA!!!! THEY HAVE JUST DESTROYED THE TWO REBELS!!!
Festee: And now they are heading down to Rocky and Brain Child! Oh no...this is not good at all! They will tear those two men apart now! They cant defend themselves. Wait...who is that? Someone is kneeling over Brain Child...ITS PRINCESS LACY!!! ITS PRINCESS LACY!!! AND THERE IS NIGEL AND NILES!!! THEY ARE GOING TO TRY AND WARD OFF THE PIC'ers. And all the while Princess Lacy is right next to her "companion"...
Showdown at the iNCW docks Mayes: The four men are just in a standoff. Who will stike first? It doesnt matter...Niles and Nigel arent slammers! They will be killed! What the HELL!??
Festee: Brain Child is up! Brain Child is up! Lacy revived him! He goes over to Rocky! He picks him up. ULTIMATE TRANQUILIZER!!! ROCKY IS DOWN!!! BRAIN CHILD FOR THE PIN....1.....2.......3!!!!! BRAIN WINS BRAIN WINS BRAIN WINS!
Mayes: OH SH__!!!!
Almost the final... Festee: Brain child is the new champ! And here come the wolves for the kill!They just push the Osborne brothers out of there way. Brain Child looks worried... Picronka goes to take a swing and...
A common workplace necessity.Festee:HE SHAKES HIS HAND! What the hell?! Brain Child has just shaken hands with Picronka and now he hands Polish Eagle a little envelope he just took from Lacy.
Mayes: This is certainly odd...and now the two PIC'ers start beating up on Rocky! And Brain Child is joining in! What the HELL!?
Festee: I will tell you what is going on "Lord" Mayes! Brain Child has just become a Partner In Crime! CRIME PAYS!
And now they are making their way back to the dressing room. They have the gauntlet match to prepare for now. This should be most interesting now that Brain Child is helping Picronka out! I smell a beatdown on the Rebellion!
Scheme Gene, take it away!
THE END...for now
~oz

"Battle Lines"

2007-10-01T14:21:00.000-04:00
Wow, just to show you how much clout you should put into my baseball predictions, I refer you to those of 2 years ago. New text will appear THUSLY...ALL IN CAPS...

Monday, October 03, 2005
"The Tholian Web"
My how time is flying by. October is here already. Hockey starts in 2 days, the Bills are already in "rebuilding mode", and the baseball playoffs are nigh at hand.

HOCKEY STARTS IN 4 DAYS, THE BILLS ARE ONCE AGAIN IN "REBUILDING MODE, THIS TIME WITH TRENT EDWARDS", AND YES BASEBALL PLAYOFFS ARE NIGH AT HAND

I am going to the opening game up at HSBC, and I cannot wait. Really, I am quite excited.

I WILL PROBABLY BE LUCKY TO SEE ONE GAME THIS YEAR, AS THE SABRES ARE INSANE, AND THERE TICKET PRICES OUT THE EFFIN ROOF

I got hired at Walden Books. We will see how that goes. It is nice to be back at a job where one has reasonable customers.

THAT JOB WAS BORING AS ALL HELL.

I have my 1st test tonight in WW2 class. Should be a great one.

I RECEIVED A DECENT GRADE ON IT. I PASSED THIS CLASS AT LEAST

I really do not have much today. School gets al my attention nowadays.

I MISS SCHOOL.

45 days until Goblet of Fire.

WORST HARRY POTTER MOVIE MADE. ORDER OF THE PHONEIX MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE BEST TO DATE

So here is how it fares in the playoffs.

Round 1: White Sox -vs- Red sox....I want to see the Chisox go over here.

WHITE SOX SWEPT IF I REMEMBER

Angels -vs- Yankees... come one...Angels here.

ANGELS WON

Round 2: IF it is Angels -vs- White Sox, then I want the White Sox. If it is Angels vs Red Sox, then the Red Sox. If it is Yankees -vs- either Sox, than whichever Sox make it.

ANGELS LOST TO THE WHITE SOX

From the NL, come on...I wanna see an NLCS rematch of Astros -vs- Cards. And this time may the Astros go on to the Series.

NLCS WAS ASTROS CARDS, WITH ASTROS GOING OVER

In the World Series, I will root for Either Sox team over ANY NL TEAM. I will root for the Angels ONLY against the Padres or Braves. I will root for ANY NL TEAM over the Yankees.

THE WHITE SOX SWEPT THE ASTORS

So ...my ranking would be ....either Sox, Astros, Cardinals, Angels, Braves, Padres, Yankees.

LOOKS LIKE I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

Just wanted to say this now so I get no slack in a couple of weeks for rooting for "this team" over "that team" or ya know.

INDIANS ALL THE WAY BABY. ASK ANYONE IN TOWN, I'VE BEEN ROOTING FOR THEM SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I STILL LIKE MY RED SOX, BUT YOU KNOW....WANT TO SEE SOMETHING DIFFERENT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

Radical

TOTALLY

~Oz

~OZ
posted by ozporn at 4:52 PM

"Vortex"

2007-10-01T14:02:00.000-04:00
Heres my baseball playoff predictions for this year.
In tonights one game playoff to determine who gets to beat....errrr..play the Phillies in the NLDS, I take San Diego over Colorado

In the ALDS, look for the Indians to eliminate the Yankees in 4 games, and the Angels to take out the Red Sox in 5.

In the NLDS, the Cubs will beat the Diamondbacks in 5, while the Padres will advance past the Phillies in 4.

In the ALCS we will see the Indians win over the Angels in 6.

In the NLCS the Cubs will beat the Padres in 7.

Sorry Chicago, but in the World Series I see the Indiands winning in 5.

"Don't prolong the agony, all men must die"
~Oz

"The Nagus"

2007-05-04T15:25:00.001-04:00
Went to NYC two weeks ago. Saw a Yankees game. They played the Indians. Came from behind to beat them in the ninth thanks to A-Rod. I wasn’t happy. I went because I felt that if someone is really a fan of baseball they owe it to themselves to go to Yankees stadium before it is no more. Living history and all that jazz.
I happily paid 22 dollars for a foot long hot dog and two miller lites.
My seat? Row U, tier 3, four rows from the flippin’ top of the stadium. Fear of heights anyone?
What else?
Got promoted this past week at work, as we lost the first assistant manager. So yeah, in one year 2 months I went from being lowly associate, bottom of the pecking order, to 2nd in command.
9 months and 2 weeks on. 2 months off. 23 months 3 weeks on. 2 months 1 week off. 6 weeks on. 2 months 2 weeks off now.
My head wont leave my head alone
~Oz

"Move Along Home"

2007-05-04T15:05:00.001-04:00
I love this whole blog thing because I know that nobody is reading. That’s not entirely true, I know that their does exist out there a small percentile of people I know who do check into this mindless dribble I spew out every once in a while.
So what is on my mind that is causing me post today? Many things. Why am I posting here instead of on myspace, where I am sure to have a much greater viewer ship of my ramblings? I’m not willing to share that I suppose.
I saw “Spiderman 3” last night. I thought it was an awesome movie. I thought it stood up as a pretty decent film at points as well. I know that most fan boys of the series, or of sci fi comic genre films in general did not warm up to it as much as I did. But let us ask ourselves, when do fan boys actually like movies based on comic books. They go to these movies just to sit there and dissect apart these (sometimes) great accomplishments of cinematography. I am not going to bother wasting my breathe telling these folk to let it go, to just enjoy the movies for what they are. For years I was the same way. With every movie that George Lucas made (post episode VI), there always seemed to be this major let down at the end of the final scene. Same went for the “Lord Of the Rings” trilogy which Peter Jackson so lovingly adapted to the big screen, and every incarnation of “Harry Potter”.
I have gotten past the point of being angry at the movies, and at the directors. I realized that the movies did not HAVE to be created. I have come to see it as a great privilege that I can go plop down anywhere from five to twelve dollars (add in ten extra if food and beverage is to be involved) to see the stories that I loved in written form be adapted to the big screen.
I am aware that I cannot change the fact that others are not willing to take the leap I have, and I cannot blame them. It took me how many years to reach this point, and there are times when I still feel a twinge of anger when I see something happen in a movie that did not happen in the book/comic, and then have something else left out of the movie which was an iatrical part of the book, and have them tell me that what they put in that wasn’t supposed to be there just HAD to be there to make the movie work, and they just couldn’t find the time to put in all that stuff from the book, that they just felt wasn’t necessary, those fucking bastards!
Ok, as you can see, I am still adjusting to this new take on movies adapted from comics and books.
~Oz

"The Passenger"

2007-02-01T20:50:00.000-05:00

"Dax"

2007-01-04T15:24:00.000-05:00
And the band played on.

Howdy. On November 21st (the date which WOULD have been mine and Mary Kates three year anniversary) my back decided to take a turn for the worst. I could barely stand up I was in so much pain. Unfortunately I couldn’t take time off from work to heal up. I was forced to work ten hour shifts in immense pain. To this day my back is still bothering me, and my left leg hurts so bad that I can barely sleep at night. On December 13th I went to the doctor to find out what was the matter. No diagnosis was given, as they would first need me to have x-rays taken. I cannot afford the x-rays, so I still have not had them taken. The doctor gave me some glorified light weight pain killers, and that was that.
I did however receive some even more disturbing news that day than I had anticipated. My blood pressure was extremely high. 176 over 90 something. Pretty bad news. I have been watching what I eat since then, trying to make slight alterations to my diet so I can bring it down to a healthier level.
Back in September, my weight was about 220 pounds. I dropped down to 205 pounds by early October. That I accredited to the fact that I had stayed at Mary Kates house for much of the month of September. I eat 100 times more healthy when I am around her (well, change that all to the past tense and you’ve got it made). When I went to the doctor 22 days ago, I weighed in at 206 pounds. Today my weight is down to 198. My target weight the doctor has given me is 170 pounds. I would honestly be happy down at 180. For Christmas the family got a treadmill machine. We set it up yesterday, and I have been going at it vigorously hoping that will work in conjunction with my “diet”.
It was a real eye opener that day going to the doctors office. In some ways I am now thankful for my back pain. If I had not had it, I would not have gone to the doctors office for lord knows how long yet, and I would have continued on a self destructive course for my heart. Now that I know about the problem, I have been given a very simple chance to rectify it.
Next time: Thoughts of a more random nature
~Oz

"Q-Less"

2007-01-03T00:19:00.000-05:00
wow im over dramatic at times
~Alex

"Captive Pursuit"

2007-01-02T11:53:00.000-05:00
Hidey ho neglecterinos!
It's been a while, I know. 146 days to be exact.
So what, did I have nothing to say? No, just nothing worthwhile.
I grew sick and tired of posting naught but pictures, videos from youtube, and dribble like that. After almost five months, I finally feel as if I have some worthwhile things to say, which no one will probably ever read.
The great thing about that however, is I can write whatever I like, without fear of consequence. Even if no one ever reads anything I write, it feels so good just to put it out there.
So what has happened in my life since I last spoke to you all?
I've been assistant manager at F.Y.E. since July, so you probably already knew that. The job has not been very fun. I am seriously struggling to keep my sanity. I am currently trying to find new employment. The customer service there is deplorable. The customers get absolutely crapped on by my associates, and rarely receive satisfaction. I give into nearly 100% of customer requests, complaints, etc. This has others there viewing me as soft, and under minding their organization. I swear to God, some of them get their panties in a twist about the most trivial of matters. Oh, their work effort is to be admired. Do not get me wrong there. They just unfortunately have no clue as to what true customer service is. As for the company themselves; they suck. Transworld Entertainment will be out of business within five years, you can mark my words. The way they overprice their products is horrible. Their return policy is laughable at best. The pay grade they give to their employees is…wait, that is right in line with the rest of this countries companies; in the toilet. This is a company that believes it own hype, and that is that they are the King of the entertainment industry, and that no one can ever touch them. To show you how out of touch this place is with current trends, here is our dress code. Black slakes, grey company shirt, black shoes. Tucked in. Now, when people think of a music store, this is not what would come to mind. We should have a dress code that is more lenient. Something along the lines of Hot Topic (yes I dislike the store, but they know what their doing). We have to play a company issued DVD, that tells the consumer what music is hot so they can go out and purchase it. This usually consists of one rock song, two punk songs, two to three country songs, five rap songs, and three to four latino songs. Needless to say, when I am in charge, the DVD comes out, and my music goes in. We buy back cd’s and dvd’s from customers. We will pay them anywhere from one penny to about six dollars per item. We then turn around and sell it for anywhere from eight dollars to twenty-something dollars.
But enough about FYE. Its making me depressed having to think about it when I am not there and have the day off.
I will be speaking again soon. After all, it has been a long 146 days.
Coming soon: Alex gains freedom, and with it, immense depression.
~Oz

"Babel"

2006-08-09T20:14:00.000-04:00
That's right folks, down with welfare. I am fed up with the idea that lazy types all across this great land of ours are doing absolutely nothing, contributing nothing to society, and receive a free ride for their efforts (lack of). The current government, hell the previous governing body as well, tells us that the system works. The only people who will receive government aid are those who acre actively seeking employment. The rub however is that they are NOT seeking employment. And why would they be, when they have every fucking incentive to remain on welfare. All they have to do is pick up 25 applications a month, fill them out, get some employers to sign off on them, and bam; they can get another months free check.
The great part of the system is that few people on welfare have their own transportation, phone service, nice clothing, or sunny disposition needed when looking for work. They know that nobody will hire them, and even if someone does decide, “gee whiz...let’s give this bastard child of society a chance to turn his/her life around”, (the only people who might do this would most likely be minimum wage employers), most likely the irresponsible welfare receiver will not take the job. And why not? Would you willingly take a pay cut for a more taxing job?

Did I give off the air that I am fed up with those receiving welfare? If I did, than I apologize. I am upset rather with the upper upper clase citizens wishing to give it to them.

“But Alex”, says the aristocrat, “the welfare system creates jobs for the middle class. Tens of thousands are employed across the United States in administrative roles, parole jobs, and the sundry. Middle class citizens such as yourselves are receiving money to help aid these unfortunate beings whom are unable to work due to various reasons. And your gratefully given tax dollars help fund programs which further aid those less fortunate than yourself.”

My response?

“If the lower class did not exist, then their would be no middle class. That’s what scares you upper class types the most, isn’t it? No separation of classes. No caste system to inflate your ego, your ill-begotten sense of accomplishment. If the lower class was allowed to contribute to society, instead of being giving ‘gimmie gimmie’ handouts just think what this country might accomplish. Furthermore, think of the possibilities if the middle class was challenging the golden rules handed down by the upper class, instead of gripping about the lower class.”

TBC

"A Man Alone"

2006-07-30T18:16:00.000-04:00
Time to move on out of the house. Again. I am looking for an apartment somewhere in the $400 a month range. I would like to remain in the city, so I can stay on local electric bills, instead of Niagara Mohawk. If you know of anyplace, please let me know. Thank you.

~Oz

"Past Prologue"

2006-07-30T18:07:00.000-04:00
I went to see the Cleveland Indians play the Seattle Mariners this past Friday night with Mary Kate. It was her first baseball game, and she really enjoyed it. The Indians won 1-0, in what was a relatively quick game. We missed the first inning and a half due to a long wait for our dinner. We were both famished when we got into Cleveland at 6 (it was a 7:05 start), and just HAD to eat somewhere. We chose “Cooperstown Of Cleveland” a Baseball/Rock and Roll themed restaurant, owned in part by Alice Cooper. The food was absolutely amazing, and the prices were more than reasonable. I was expecting somewhere around a $45.00 bill, but it only turned out to be $29 and change. So yeah, that made me happy. Blew 12 bucks in the stadium on two fucking beers... that made me less happy.

~Oz

"Emissary"

2006-07-27T23:12:00.000-04:00
Well, first post in nearly a month. First “written” post in much longer than that. Decided not to fall back on pictures and videos for once. I do have some SHOCKING news for you all.

1. I have quit Fredonia. That is right.

2. I am now assistant manager at FYE.

3. Those two are DIRECTLY related.

So, you can all judge me and my decision makings, I don’t really care.

I am happy. Let us leave it at that.

What else is new you ask?

Not much.

Everything.

I will post more later as I feel like it.

And trust me...I feel like it.

~Oz

"All Good Things..."

2006-07-21T01:30:00.000-04:00

"Preemptive Strike"

2006-07-21T01:28:00.000-04:00

"Emergence"

2006-07-21T01:25:00.000-04:00

"Bloodlines"

2006-07-21T01:17:00.000-04:00

"Firstborn"

2006-07-21T01:07:00.000-04:00

"Journeys End"

2006-07-21T01:03:00.000-04:00

"Genesis"

2006-07-03T20:54:00.000-04:00

Crystal with Marks younger siblings

"Eye Of The Beholder"

2006-07-03T20:51:00.000-04:00

This is Devons niece

"Masks"

2006-07-03T20:48:00.000-04:00

Next 3 are from Halloween '04. This is my cousin Emma visiting.

"Thine Own Self"

2006-07-03T20:44:00.000-04:00

More of that bastard Alex

"Lower Decks"

2006-07-03T20:43:00.000-04:00

Me.

"Sub Rosa"

2006-07-02T15:00:00.000-04:00

Happier times for all considered...

"Homeward"

2006-07-02T14:56:00.000-04:00

Wyatt and myself in deep conversation

"The Pegasus"

2006-07-02T14:53:00.000-04:00

Wyatt the pirate

"Parallels

2006-07-02T14:47:00.000-04:00

It appears I was having too much fun.

"Inheritance"

2006-07-02T14:43:00.000-04:00

Jamie and Annie

"Force Of Nature"

2006-07-02T14:40:00.000-04:00

Julia, with me lurking in background

"Attached"

2006-07-02T14:37:00.000-04:00

Ben and Julia - halloween

"Dark Page"

2006-06-29T21:26:00.000-04:00

Annie, the lovely hostess of the Halloween party and Jack again.

"Phantasms"

2006-06-29T21:21:00.000-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen...Mr Jack Harvey!

"Gambit"

2006-06-29T21:18:00.000-04:00

me in my halloween get up

"Interface"

2006-06-29T21:14:00.000-04:00

joy and crystal at halloween

"Liaisons"

2006-06-29T19:36:00.000-04:00

Some pics of Ben from Halloween, both at the apartment and at Annies cabin

"Descent"

2006-06-29T19:28:00.000-04:00

Devon and James at Juanitas wedding

"Timescape"

2006-06-29T19:21:00.000-04:00

Erika, Ashley, and Laura all bookmarked by Marks head on the way to Gernsey Hollow.

"Second Chances"

2006-06-29T19:09:00.000-04:00

Myself - the sloth, and Wyatt - Man Of Fire

"Rightful Heir"

2006-06-29T19:02:00.000-04:00

everyone loves having their picture taken. cheesy header, i know

"Suspicions"

2006-06-29T18:55:00.000-04:00

That was a good fire

"Frame Of Mind"

2006-06-29T18:50:00.000-04:00

Joy and Alaric

"The Chase"

2006-06-29T18:43:00.000-04:00

Some random Joy pics at said bonfire

"Lessons"

2006-06-29T18:38:00.000-04:00

Alaric and Josh at the bonfire

"Starship Mine"

2006-06-29T18:32:00.000-04:00

Erin being all...erinish

"Birthright"

2006-06-29T18:25:00.000-04:00

Joy smoking at the bonfire

"Tapestry"

2006-06-29T18:20:00.000-04:00

Here I am drinking at a bonfire at the land

"Face Of The Enemy"

2006-06-29T18:18:00.000-04:00
Get ready for some old picture goodness. I just uploaded nearly 100 old pictures from 2004 onto my computer. So, enjoy.

"Aquiel"

2006-06-22T15:57:00.000-04:00
Well, my internet connection is being all retarded, and nothing is working. So I dont know if this message will even get posted or not. Wait and see I suppose. Be back later with more 007 goodness.

~Oz

"Ship In A Bottle"

2006-06-22T15:52:00.000-04:00

"The Chain Of Command"

2006-06-22T15:51:00.000-04:00

"The Quality Of Life"

2006-06-22T15:47:00.000-04:00
Here is my favorite opening for a James Bond Film

"A Fistful Of Datas"

2006-06-22T15:44:00.000-04:00
I cant find the trailer so here is the opening credits.

"Rascals"

2006-06-22T15:41:00.000-04:00

"True Q"

2006-06-22T15:39:00.000-04:00

"Schisms"

2006-06-22T15:34:00.001-04:00

"Relics"

2006-06-22T15:34:00.000-04:00

"Man Of The People"

2006-06-22T15:30:00.000-04:00
Well, now for some classic James Bond Trailers to get ready for the new movie.

"Realm Of Fear"

2006-06-22T15:14:00.000-04:00

"Times Arrow"

2006-06-22T15:07:00.000-04:00

"The Inner Light"

2006-06-22T15:03:00.000-04:00
Well, the next couple posts are sure to get me ostracized from the net community. Enjoy!

~Oz

"The Next Phase"

2006-06-22T14:49:00.000-04:00
Well, I went to Fredonia yesterday for my 10 hour orientation. What a fucking waste of time that was! Only about 45 minutes of it was worthwhile, and that was when I signed up for my classes. Well, it turns it that even that was a waste of time as I got screwed over on my class schedule, not to mention some of the classes I got stuck in. There is no doubt in my mind now that I am going to be looking for an apartment up in Fredonia now.

In other news, The Red Light District Attorneys won again this week at trivia making it 2 wins in a row. Our summer record is 3-2. Do I take trivia seriously? Hell yeah. Even with as early as I had to get up yesterday for orientation I stayed out until nearly midnight just for the sake of trivia. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, and now no one expects them to win. Ever Again. (that was my Carl impression)

~Oz

"I, Borg"

2006-06-14T14:39:00.000-04:00
What a week it has been so far. Ups and downs, but mostly downs. Mary Kate got into a car accident on Sunday night. She is fine (major UP), but her car is totaled (major DOWN). I spent Sunday night through Tuesday afternoon taking care of her at her house. She was shaken up a bit, and was left sore, but other than that she was totally fine following the accident.

Last night was Trivia night. We won for the 2nd time this summer, improving our record to 2-2. And both losses we were in 2nd place only losing by 5 and 10 points respectively. So that rocks.

My Great Grandfather passed away this morning around 1 am. He was 101 years old. Honestly it was for the best in my opinion as he has been in deteriorating health for the past few years now. And the last couple months were really not good to him. He will be missed by all of his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, AND great great grandchildren.

Following that is some good news. Dave Matthews Band concert is tonight in Darien Lake. I am leaving in about 45 minutes to pick up Shawn, and we are meeting Ben and Joy up there. Also, on Tuesday night, ECW returned to the airwaves on SciFi network. Am I psyched? You bet you sweet ass I am bitch cakes!

Song/Lyrics of the day: Morrissey “You Have Killed Me”

Pasolini is me
'Accattone' you'll be
I entered nothing and nothing entered me
'Til you came with the key
And you did your best but

As I live and breathe
You have killed me
You have killed me
Yes I walk around somehow
But you have killed me
You have killed me

Piazza Cavour, what's my life for?

Visconti is me
Magnani you'll never be
I entered nothing and nothing entered me
'Til you came with the key
And you did your best but

As I live and breathe
You have killed me
You have killed me
Yes, I walk around somehow
But you have killed me
You have killed me

Who am I that I come to be here...?

As I live and breathe
You have killed me
You have killed me
Yes I walk around somehow
But you have killed me
You have killed me

And there is no point saying this again
Yes, there is no point saying this again
But I forgive you, I forgive you
Always I do forgive you.
~Oz

"Imaginary Friend"

2006-06-09T16:04:00.000-04:00

"The Perfect Mate"

2006-06-09T16:01:00.000-04:00

"Cost Of Living"

2006-06-09T15:58:00.000-04:00

"The First Duty"

2006-06-09T15:52:00.000-04:00

"Cause And Effect"

2006-06-09T15:49:00.000-04:00

"The Outcast"

2006-06-09T15:47:00.000-04:00

"Ethics"

2006-06-09T15:44:00.000-04:00

"Power Play"

2006-06-09T15:40:00.000-04:00

"Conundrum"

2006-05-26T12:48:00.000-04:00

"The Masterpiece Society"

2006-05-26T12:44:00.000-04:00

"Violations"

2006-05-26T12:43:00.001-04:00

"Hero Worship"

2006-05-26T12:43:00.000-04:00

"New Ground"

2006-05-26T12:36:00.000-04:00

"A Matter Of Time"

2006-05-26T12:18:00.000-04:00

This is still one of my favorite moments in Sabres History

~Oz

"Unification"

2006-05-25T12:05:00.000-04:00
Another season of “Lost” has come and gone. I said it earlier in the season, and I will say it again. How anyone could turn away from this show (especially after watching the entire 1st season, and part of the 2nd) baffles me. Once again, the plot seemed to some like a lumbering dinosaur. That maybe, but was required for plot development. I mean, the entire 2nd season spanned only like 20 days or so on the island. The only show I can think of that goes at a slower pace (timeline wise) is “24”, and you don’t hear people complaining about its pace. A question for “Lost” detractors. Would the Henry Gale story arc been better served in one episode or over the course of several episodes? I for one, found it much more interesting going from one week to the next waiting to find out 1st if he was “one of them”, and then just what would happen when the others wanted to get him back.

And Last Night, we discovered that he is the leader of the others. What else did we discover last night? It was Desmond’s fault the plane crashed on the island. Hurley was more upset with Jack for not letting him and Sawyer and Kate in on the know that Michael was a turncoat than he was with the fact that Michael murdered Libby. Also, Libby was married to a man named Dave, which was the same name as Hurleys “imaginary” friend in the mental institution. Libby gave Desmond the sailboat that lead him to the island. So Libby was the catalyst of sorts for the whole mess starting. Questions which arose in the episode: What the hell was up with the “Simpsons” Arganothesque foot statue. It only had four toes, as if the statue remains were not weird enough. Are Eko, Locke, and Desmond still alive? Did Desmond setting off the huge EMP destroy the whole reason for having to press the button every 108 minutes? Where are the others taking Jack, Sawyer, and Kate? Will Michael and Walt find civilization again? Will they tell others of how to rescue the castaways, and what what WHAT was up with Desmond’s would be wife having a Russian crew out searching the ocean for EITHER and EMP, or to detect that the button in the hatch was not pushed? Oy Vey!

Lost?

~Oz

"The Game"

2006-05-24T13:38:00.000-04:00
Oh yeah...I forgot Neil Young’s : Living With War

So yeah. Tonight is the 2 hour season finale of “Lost”. I cannot wait. Only 6 hours and 28 minutes (from typing this).

I forgot to mention another major purchase. Last Friday I bought the X-Box 360. Also I bought Perfect Dark Zero, and Madden 06. Neither game has grabbed me in the way I was hoping for, but it is only a matter of time until a Star Wars game, or a little game called Halo 3 comes out and takes up all my free time for weeks/months on end.

X-Men 3 The Final Stand is out in theaters this Friday, and it looks like I might have to drive to Erie if I want to see a midnight showing of the bad boy. So hopefully it will be released here at 12:01am Friday, or damn, I’m gonna have to get a posse.

Trivia words for the week: Furrier, Worsted, Chestnut, Poser.

That will be all.

~Oz

“Ain’t singing for Pepsi, ain’s singing for Coke, ain’t singing for nobody makes me look like a joke; this notes for you”

"Disaster"

2006-05-24T13:30:00.000-04:00
New Music of the last week has been- Purchases: Dave Matthews Band : Live In Chicago

Pink Floyd : The Wall

Downloads: Autumn Thunder : 40 Years of NFL Films Music

The Ranconteurs : Broken Boy Soldiers

She Wants Revenge : She Wants Revenge

New Movie Acquisitions : Forrest Gump

Seven

The Manchurian Candidate

This transmission ends now

~Oz

"Silicon Avatar"

2006-05-24T13:25:00.000-04:00
Last night was Trivia Night at Ye Old Anchor Inn. First one of the summer. And who won??? Why none other than the Red Light District Attorneys. The Team consisted of Doc, Erik, Aimee, Mary Kate, Beth, and myself. After the 1st round we were in a three way tie for 1st (45 points) with “Bye Week Minus One”, being Wyatt’s team which was himself, Nate, Lindsay, Lindsay, Matt, Joe, and one other girl whose name eludes me at the moment. The other team...I don’t remember the name. After the 2nd round (we got only 4 out of 10 right) we were 10 points behind Bye Week and the other team, in 2nd place. But in the 3rd round we went 10 for 10 to claim the game. Victory was ours. Next week we look to make it a perfect 2 for 2 on the season. Can you say “stranglehold”? I sure hope that we can.

~Oz

"Ensign Ro"

2006-05-22T11:20:00.000-04:00
I saw “The Da Vinci Code” Friday night. I went with Mary Kate, and ran into Doc, Beth, Alex and Ojo (male variant). The movie was worthwhile. I had to remind myself at times that this is but a film translation of the book, not the book itself. I understand the reason those Crazy Catholics© feel they have to get all up in arms about this film. This FILM. Based on a FICTIONAL BOOK. --->FICTIONAL<---- . I wonder sometimes if t he Catholic Church understands that concept. Between Harry Potter and now Da Vinci, they sure do get their socks all up in a knot.

Previews before the film were for Pirates of The Caribbean 2, Miami Vice, and Casino Royale. Pretty decent previews, even the one for Vice was okay, although it did nothing to inspire me to want to go see this movie anymore than before (zilch). Pirates looks to be another great adventure. I am already ready already to see Bond 21 on opening night. Nothing any critic says about Daniel Craig will deter me from witnessing the “birth” of Bond. The one thing that gets me though is the problem which will arise with Judi Dench playing “M”. In “Goldeneye” she and Bond have a discussion of her predecessor. So obviously from that discourse, we can conclude that 007 James Bond was in place at MI6 before Judi Denchs character took over the role as “M”. Bernard Lee was the originally “M”. Perhaps they should have gotten an actor who could have matched his likeness in stature and diction to portray “M”. Of course, this would probably not have sat well with the Dame had she been asked to give up the role for a movie or two, to wait to be brought back into the franchise until a time arises when the series reaches the “current” timeline. Of course James Bond has experienced about as much changes in age and appearance as our favorite Timelord, that Tardis riden, Dalak bashing, Red Eyed Robot ass kicking Dr.Who.